Grrrr! Stupid National Society of Newspaper Columnists.
I submitted three of my best columns from 2004 for the NSNC Column Contest in the "Humor, for newspapers with circulation less than 100,000" category, and not only did I not win anything, I didn't even get an honorable mention?
What's going on?! I've honed my craft, tightened up my writing, and done everything I can to get better. And trust me, my stuff has been waaaay improved over what I did eight or nine years ago. Just this past year alone, I've seen huge improvements over what I wrote just last year. So how these short-sighted, narrow-minded -- wait a minute. That was the 2004 contest. I can't submit my 2005 columns until next year.
Never mind. At least my wife still thinks I'm funny.