President Barack Obama just pardoned his first turkey of his administration, following the Thanksgiving presidential tradition started by President George H.W. Bush.
The turkey in question is named Courage, a 45-pound turkey that probably had drumsticks that could feed a family of four.
According to an Associated Press story, Sasha and Malia Obama accompanied their dad while he received the gift from the National Turkey Federation — a tradition started in 1947. (It was President Bush Sr. who first pardoned the bird.)
"I'm told Presidents Eisenhower and Johnson actually ate their turkeys," Obama said. "You can't fault them for that; that's a good-looking bird."
"Thanks to the interventions of Malia and Sasha — because I was planning to eat this sucker — Courage will also be spared this terrible and delicious fate," he said.
And because Malia and Sasha played an important role in saving this turkey, PETA is granting the First Daughters honorary memberships in PETA Kids.
(In case you're wondering, this is the same PETA that kills thousands of pets each in its Norfolk, Virginia animal shelter.)
Trust PETA to seek to thrust themselves into the news spotlight like the creepy photobombers you went to high school with, sticking their faces in photos at the last second.
"We want to thank them for their involvement in pardoning the turkey this Thanksgiving," said Ashley Byrne, PETA spokeswoman.
Muh-huh. For once in your life, please understand that this is not about you. In fact, it's never about you. Just go away and stick to killing house pets.
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