Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Food-Related Assault: Man Jailed for Smashing Hamburger in Wife's Face. Yeah, it's Florida

Another Florida man was jailed on Monday for smashing a hamburger in his wife's face following an argument.

Regular readers of the Laughing Stalk column will no doubt recognize that this makes at least the 9th food-related assault in a year, and the 12th in the last 13 months.

More staggering however, is that its the fifth food-related attack from Florida, and the third in Port St. Lucie in less than a year.

According to the story on the WTSP website, Daniel Boss, 25, began arguing this past Thursday night, and started calling each other names. Then, Mrs. Boss poured pop on Boss' burger, so he rubbed it on her face and started throwing food at her.

Boss then left, and his wife reported the attack to the police. He was arrested three hours later on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge.

This is getting serious, people. This is the 8th food-related assault in Florida alone. And while we've seen a few copycat crimes in Iowa, Illinois, and Idaho (something else to give us pause. . .), ground zero of the food-related attacks seems to be that central band of Florida. Check it out for yourself.

View Florida Food-Related Assaults in a larger map

Past food-related assault articles:

  1. Food-Related Assault Frame-up in Florida. Yeah, Florida again. (Largo, FL)

  2. Food-Related Assault Epidemic Spreads to Idaho, Condiments (Boise, Idaho)

  3. Food-Related Assault Epidemic Continues. Yes, It's In Florida (Hernando Beach)

  4. Food Related Assault Epidemic Reaches Iowa, Man Attacks Girlfriend with Pizza (Des Moines, Iowa)

  5. Food Related Assault Epidemic Reaches Philadelphia, Man Assaults Girlfriend With Meatball Sub (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

  6. Food Related Assault Epidemic Reaches Illinois, Man Throws Defective McGriddle at McD's Employee (Peoria, Illinois)

  7. Two More Food Attacks in Florida (Deltona & St. Petersburg)

  8. Third Sandwich Attack in Florida (Port St. Lucie)

  9. Assault with a Burger, Food Related Assaults on the Rise (Details TWO food-related attacks in Port St. Lucie and Vero Beach)

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1 comment:

  1. I think Florida must be the domain of the Food-Related Assault Demon, a particularly nasty one to exercise, and related closely to the Demon of Stupidity.


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