Friday, July 29, 2016

The Baxter® Family Newsletter

Hello fellow Glastonbury Neighborhood families!

As we finish with summer, I wanted to update you on the Baxter® family fortunes through our monthly newsletter. Since we'll be spending the next two weeks getting ready for back to school, we've been so thankful that the Baxter® Beacon™ has let us keep everyone up to date with our goings-on.

Before we get into the meat of the newsletter — or tofu protein patties, for my vegan pals — I'd like to ask a little favor. I notice several people driving rather fast through the neighborhood. I know the posted speed limit says 20, but "dears" live here, so it would be great if you could keep it well below 15. It's hard to see all the kids as they dart out from between the cars parked on the street as they play on the driveways. Remember, slow equals safe for this protective momma bear!

There have been several local crime stories in the news lately. I know we're safe up here in our little suburban enclave, and that most crime actually happens in the big city. But I still get worried any time our sleepy little town is mentioned during the crime segment on the news.

(On a side note, when did the news get so scary? You would think nothing good ever happened in the world these days. I would love to see a whole newscast devoted to nothing but good news for a change. I bet people would watch that.)

So Blake® and I are urging everyone to keep an eye out for suspicious vehicles in the neighborhood. Last week, I saw a teenage boy driving slowly past our house with an older man in the passenger seat. I figured they were looking out for houses to rob, so I speed dialed the police. They rushed out and questioned the driver.

I later learned he was just a neighborhood teenager learning how to drive with his father. Still, they were driving slowly, which made me nervous. Remember, slow equals suspicious to this eagle-eyed momma!

On a much cheerier note, Blake® and I registered the kids' names as registered trademarks, as well as our own, over the summer. Blake®'s brother, Stephen™, is an intellectual property attorney in Chicago, and he helped us do it.

We figured the kids are doing so well on their sports travel teams that when they become college and professional athletes, we'll be able to keep the licensing fees the NCAA and pro leagues would have used to line their own pockets. There's no point in enriching those people. Plus, it puts us on stronger footing when EA Sports comes a-knocking. Fingers crossed we see Farron® or Dashiell® on the cover of FIFA 27 or Madden NFL 34. Sports equal satisfaction for this athletic-supporting momma!

That's assuming Käetlin® doesn't become a professional ballerina first. She loves her Tuesday morning dance class!

And while her brothers and sister are staying active, we're also proud of Auden®. She's finishing her fourth week of summer camp, and is ready to come home. It's been an amazing transformation. When we first sent her off, she was homesick, calling every day, begging to come home. But now, she barely writes and won't spend more than a few minutes on the phone with me, so we know she's having such a wonderful time that she doesn't want us interrupting her.

We're now researching college scholarships and looking at SAT prep academies for her. It's hard to believe our little valedictorian will be going to college in just six short years. But if anyone is going to win a Nobel prize, it will be our little Auden®. Science equals splendid to this education-eager momma!

I'm looking forward to seeing everyone at the neighborhood picnic next week. Remember, Dashiell® is sensitive to peanuts, while Kaëtlin® shouldn't eat wheat. Plus Blake® and I prefer the children don't have processed meat, so no hot dogs. Also, I'm sure I speak for the other, more caring neighborhood moms when I ask you to please avoid processed sugar in your delicious desserts. As for the men, Blake® is super proud of the home brew non-alcoholic beer he's made, so I hope you're all thirsty! And I'll be serving up mom-friendly mimosas!

In the meantime, I've only received RSVPs from three of you. Please remember to get those in as soon as possible.

Hugs and kisses to you all!

Sheila® Baxter®



You can find my books Branding Yourself (affiliate link), No Bullshit Social Media, and The Owned Media Doctrine on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million, or for the Kindle or Nook.

3 comments:

  1. Ann™ here, all this copyrighting makes you crazy. When Taylor Swift copyrighted so many phrases used in her song, I knew I really didn't care for her music. lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did she do that? I wasn't aware of that. That's kind of presumptuous on her part.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Because greed never goes out of style, the internet can show you incredible things, like the sick beat of overdone trademarking.

    New Yorker article

    Rolling Stones article

    ReplyDelete

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