Skip to main content

Ann Coulter's Jaw Wired Shut: Best. Miracle. Ever

To all my agnostic and atheistic friends, especially the liberal ones:

You can't tell me there's not a God anymore.
Ann Coulter's jaw has been wired shut.

Coulter, the pretty-yet-evil right-wing crazy woman, who believes that all Democrats are going to Hell simply because they're Democrats, will not be allowed to say anything for weeks. Needless to say, the blogosphere is alight with schadenfreudic delight at Coulter's silencing.

Okay, okay, she broke her jaw falling down some stairs. And I feel bad that she hurt herself. I just don't feel bad that as part of her recovery process, she won't be allowed to spew her hatred and venom on the airwaves for several weeks.

Best. Miracle. Ever.

(Thanks to my friend Douglas Karr for the heads up.)

---
Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.

Comments

  1. My personal views are strongly conservative, yet listening to Ann Coulter talk is like experiencing a severe groin rash - seriously uncomfortable.

    I suggest that we have this "wire their jaw shut" option for any public figure that talks too much. I nominate Keith Olbermann, at least when he's on Sunday Night Football, for cryin' out loud. He attempts to be smart and funny, which comes across as someone who's not.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with the post above. I'm a staunch conservative and I just can't stand Ann Coulter. Now if only Randi Rhodes could take a vow of silence for the same period of time...j/k

    Dave K

    ReplyDelete
  3. Even as a liberal, I grew tired of Randi Rhodes about 20 minutes after I started listening to her. I'd like to lock her in a room with Ann. It would either turn into a cat fight, or they'd come out as BFF. Hilarity ensues.

    Keith Olbermann is trying too much to be like Dennis Miller. He can be smart, he can be funny, but he's not smart funny, like Jon Stewart or the aforementioned Miller.

    ReplyDelete
  4. A Christmas Miracle and it is not even Christmas. Thank you Santa Clause.

    Regardless of my political views, it is nice to have her silenced for a while, even if it is just for the Holiday Season!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What could we say to Ann, while she has her jaws wired shut, that would make her explode?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I am accepting comments from people with Google accounts to cut down on spam.
Otherwise, spam comments will be deleted with malicious glee.

Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide

TFBIHCAEEPTSD.

Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…