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Showing posts from January, 2011

WARNING: Top Secret Column

WARNING: Top Secret Column

Erik is out of the office this week on a secret assignment, so we are reprinting a column from 2005.

I wanted to be a spy when I was a kid.

I wanted to drive around in cool cars, wear sharp suits, drink vodka martinis, and have beautiful women throw themselves at me, a la James Bond. After I watched my first Bond movie, I was convinced of the awesome power of suits and vodka martinis.

I knew I would be a good spy, because at age nine, my friend Eric Pratt and I snuck around the neighborhood on summer nights, trying to annoy our neighbors, who we imagined were actually enemy spies. We didn't know who they were spying for, only that they were enemy spies. As we saw it, it was our patriotic duty to thwart these ne'er-do-wells from their villainy. (This was also our battle cry. We were not very cool.)

We were pretty good at spying though. We snuck around from backyard to backyard, and not once were we ever captured. We'd get barked at by the occasional do…

A Beginner's Guide to Facebook

A Beginner's Guide to FacebookSo are you on The Facebook yet? It's all the rage with the young people these days, them and their Tweeters, and the MeSpaces, and the YouTubers. The Facebook is one of them, whatchmacallit, social Internetworks.

If you're reading these words, chances are you're on Facebook. Almost a 1 in 10 chance. As of January 2011, there are over 600 million people on Facebook, and some experts believe they will reach 700 million users by June. The world's population is already at 6.8 billion, which means 10 percent of the world will be on Facebook by May.

But you're not on it yet?

If you're not on Facebook yet (it actually was called TheFacebook until 2005), you're missing out on the biggest social network devoted to gossip, chatting, and sharing photos of children and grandchildren in the entire history of the world, followed closely by the Methodist Church Ladies Cookie Ministry.

Facebook is a way to connect with friends from today, frie…

Phone It In Sunday: Leaked Outtakes From The Green Hornet

LA comedy troupe, The Station, has a channel on YouTube, where they include little gems like this one. BrettTheIntern nailed the Seth Rogen imitation. Look for more The Station videos here during Phone It In Sunday.



My book, Branding Yourself: How to Use Social Media to Invent or Reinvent Yourself (affiliate link), is available on Amazon.com, as well as at Barnes & Noble and Borders bookstores. I wrote it with my good friend, Kyle Lacy.

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Explaining the Facts of Life

Explaining the Facts of LifeI had to explain a few things about the male human body to my son this week. Nothing he isn't already aware of. He's eight, after all. But we had to discuss some of the. . . scientific terms versus the "family terms" we use.

It was an awkward discussion made even more awkward by the fact that my 10-year-old and 14-year-old daughters were at the table.

My wife and I made a deal before we ever had kids. She would talk to any daughters about the facts of life, and I would talk to any sons.

I'm easily embarrassed, and get all red in the face whenever my daughters tell me what they just went shopping for at Victoria's Little Sister's Secret. My wife is just as uncomfortable when dealing with boy issues, so the arrangement was fair.

We even went so far as to discuss who would take over, should one of us meet an untimely end.

Me: Well, we could get your sister to talk to the girls about it.

My wife: Yeah, but she lives in Fort Wayne, and it…

Lake Superior State University Releases 2011 List of Banished Words

Lake Superior State University Releases 2011 List of Banished Words

Every year, Lake State Superior University releases its List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use, and General Uselessness. And for the past several years, I've had some fun with it, heartily agreeing with the words to be banned, and making fun of their general existence.

This year, however, I took serious issue with the list. All I can think is that certain words are being attacked by people who hate technology, are stuck in the 70s, or think "FaceSpace" is for young people to tell everyone what they had for breakfast.

Some of these words were dismissed, I think, by people who still worry about "hooligans" causing a "hoopla" in their "dungarees."

Listen, if the world has passed you by, that's fine. If your great-great-grandkids are using words you don't understand, or frighten and confuse you, that's okay; you're still a good pers…

Phone It In Sunday: LisaNova Does "Sarah Palin's CRAZY Rant!"

I love LisaNova, and watch her videos regularly. Unfortunately, I can't post them all on here since 1) I'm not a spastic fanboy, and 2) my 14-year-old daughter reads my blog.

Still, there are a few gems that I can't help but share. Sarah Palin's CRAZY Rant is one of those. I love the woman who plays Bristol Palin. Pay close attention to the way she constantly stares at the camera. Priceless.





My book, Branding Yourself: How to Use Social Media to Invent or Reinvent Yourself (affiliate link), is available on Amazon.com, as well as at Barnes & Noble and Borders bookstores. I wrote it with my good friend, Kyle Lacy.

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