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Showing posts from December, 2012

The Worst Words of 2012

Man, the Atlantic Wire sure hates a lot of popular words. Not just dislikes them. They. Detest. Them.

Writer Jen Doll created a list of 45 words that she grew to hate, hate, HATE in 2012, and savaged them brutally, saying we need to quit using them. Typically, writers don't actually hate the things they use on a daily basis — it's like a carpenter hating hammers — so these words must have been truly heinous and awful.

Actually, I would agree with her for most of her list, except she hated "actually."

Doll said "it's the word that you use when you're actually saying, 'you are wrong, and I am right, and you are at least a little bit of an idiot.'"

What'd I tell you? Hates it. I'm kind of iffy about the word. I use it, but I've never thought much about it. I don't go apoplectic like a lot of people did when the Associated Press said it was okay to start a sentence with "hopefully." That sent people into word rage this …

Dear December 12, 2012

Dear December 12, 2012,

Thanks to our technology in the 22nd century, we're able to respond to the letter you sent us 100 years ago. (Editor's note: see last week's column).

However, this is a costly and energy consuming endeavor, so we are only able to do this once. Still, our energy creation is rather easy.

As you said, we have seen Back to the Future, and many of the "futuristic" inventions in the movie, while laughable in their primitiveness (we were surprised at how many of them missed the mark), ended up inspiring many of the products we have today. Just like your Star Trek first inspired cellular phones and tablet computers, some of the Back to the Future inventions inspired ours.

In 2089, the first Mr. Fusion car power supply was invented, which solved the world trash crisis. In fact, thanks to the environmental policies you created in the 21st century, there is now very little garbage, so we face an energy crisis similar to your own oil crises of 1977 – …

Dear 12-12-2112. . .

Dear December 12, 2112,

Greetings from December 12, 2012. It may be a little weird reading this letter from 100 years in the past. We imagine it's sort of like the end of Back to the Future, when Doc Brown gets sent back to 1885 and sends a letter to Marty McFly 70 years later. We realize you probably don't watch our old movies in 2112. Or at least you have 100 more years of movies, and so would not have had time to watch it. (But if you get a chance, check it out.)

We're writing this while the 12-12-12 Concert is happening, as music's greatest musicians perform in Madison Square Garden to raise funds for Hurricane Sandy recovery. Sandy destroyed and flooded most of the New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut coast. Everyone is talking about the concert on a social networking site called Twitter.

Although 2112 history may not know them, the men and women on stage tonight are some of the biggest names in rock and roll history — Bruce Springsteen, Jon Bon Jovi, The Who, Th…

Karl the Curmudgeon's Writers Feud Rages On

So how's the writers feud going, Karl? I asked. My friend and fellow writer, Karl the Curmudgeon, and I were sitting at First Edition, the literary-themed bar we had visited several months ago, when Karl decided to start a writers feud.

He chose one Rene Whitehorse as his victim, a French poet who'd had a passing acquaintanceship with "success" when his razor-thin poetry book was published by some fly-by-night publisher.

"Pretty good, actually," Karl said. "We've been attacking each other on Twitter."

How is that good? Your Twitter accounts are pretty pathetic, and a fight between you two is like a fart in a windstorm. I have more people living on my street than you two have in your network combined.

"He's also talking about me to his Poetry for Agoraphobes support group."

Is that really a thing?

"No, it's just what I call his poetry writers group. They're all reading slam poetry about The Angry Bearded Man at their …