“Hey kid, what’d they arrest you for?”
“I farted during computer class.”
A 13-year-old Stuart, Florida boy was arrested -- arrested! -- for farting during computer class. According to a story in the Stuart (Florida) News, the unnamed boy had been continually disrupting class by breaking wind and shutting of his classmates computers.
The last person to be arrested for farting was Antonio Cruz of West By God Virginia, who farted at a Charleston police officer and was then charged with battery. (But not ass-ault. Apparently Charleston police officer’s don’t have a sense of humor.)
According to a report from the Martin County Sheriff’s Office on November 4, a school resource officer (which apparently is not a librarian) arrested the boy after he confessed. The boy was charged with disruption of school function. He was then released to his mother’s custody.
The resource officer, Warren Pettaway, wrote in his report that he asked the boy if he deliberately farted in his teacher’s general direction.
The unnamed lad then said Pettaway's father was a hamster and his mother smelt of elderberries.
"He subsequently informed me it was factual, and I informed him as a result of his behavior he was being charged with Disruption of a School Function," said Pettaway’s report, using big words and looking all smart. (Translation: “The teacher smelt it, the boy dealt it. So I arrested him.”)
Like this column? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.