Thursday, June 18, 2009

Birmingham U.K. Drops Apostrophes Because "They're Too Hard"

I'm going to change the spelling of Birmingham, England.

They're having a whack at my beloved apostrophe, so I'm going after them.

Apparently, their City Council thinks the apostrophe is too hard to understand, so rather than learn how to use it properly, they're just getting rid of it.

According to a great post by Denise Baron, if you live on O'Dell street, you now live on ODell. If your street is D'Arcy Avenue, it's now Darcy Avenue. St. Paul's Square is now St. Pauls Square. You get the picture.

So I'm fighting back. The city in England is not pronounced the same way as Birming-HAM, Alabama. They pronounce it Birming-um. No 'H.'

And since they're getting rid of the apostrophe because they can't use it, I'm changing the name of their city since no one pronounces the 'H.'

Birmingham, England is now Birmingam.

Ow do you like tat, Birmingam City Council? Don't piss me off, or I'm dropping the M's too.

John Richards, founder of the Apostrophe Protection Society, told the London Daily Telegraph, "The council should aim its efforts to ensuring that apostrophes are used correctly, not deciding to erase them altogether. It is choosing the easy way out, dumbing down and showing contempt for the large number of area's residents who take a pride in the English language."

One Birmingam councilor explained his backing of the stupid decision: "I don't see the point of them."

Frankly, I don't see the point of City Councilors either, but apparently they're necessary to clarify rules, bring order to the community, and serve a general purpose.

Sort of like an apostrophe.

In the meantime, Birmingham is now Birmingam, and I will refuse to use the H in their name until the rescind and amend their stupidity.

And while, I'm at it, here are some extra apostrophes to hold my apostrophic brethren in Birmingam over until this dark period is lifted.

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

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