Thursday, November 05, 2009

Food-Related Assault Epidemic Spreads to Idaho, Condiments

The food-related assault epidemic is continuing to spread. This past June, it reached Idaho, and has mutated from food-only items to condiments.

That's when 18-year-old Tiffany Wallace of Boise rammed her pickup truck into another car several times, after throwing plastic packets of ranch salad dressing at an unnamed male driver.

According to the Idaho Statesman website, Wallace rammed a Kia sedan during a road rage incident that ended in the Saint Alphonsus Regional Medical Center.
The male driver of the Kia told police the conflict began after he was cut off by a woman driving a pickup truck on Fairview Avenue near Orchard Street. The male driver told police that the woman driving the pickup then began driving aggressively — cutting him off, tailgating, and pulling the pickup next to him, where she yelled at him and threw coins and small plastic containers of ranch dressing at the car.
According to the police report, not only had the rear bumper fallen off and taillights been smashed, but "the car's sides and trunk were also covered by spots of ranch dressing and there appeared to be dents from the coins."

And nothing gets out ranch dressing. I mean, you can spray Shout on it, but those little greasy spots will be there forever.

Wallace pleaded guilty to felony aggravated battery. Ada County prosecutors dropped a use of a deadly weapon during the in the commission of a felony charge (which is also a felony) in exchange for her guilty plea.

I know ranch dressing isn't good for you, but a felony? Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, they were only small packets, not the great big bottles you get at Costco.

Wallace will be sentenced on December 11th. She faces up to 15 years in prison, but prosecutors are recommending a 10-year-prison sentence with a nice raspberry vinaigrette.

However, prosecutors are also recommending that Wallace receive six months of treatment in an Idaho Department of Correction facility, before the judge decides if she should serve her prison sentence or be placed on felony probation for the 10 years.


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