At the end of every May, a group of elite individuals come together and compete to find who is the best in the world at what they do. They practice, train, and study their opponents in their efforts to be crowned the Best Speller Ever.
I’m talking about the Scripps National Spelling Bee, which celebrated 100 Years Of The Bee this year.
In celebration of the Bee, Google releases its list of words most commonly misspelled for each state for the year. That is, people in states looked up certain words, but misspelled them in their search. There’s always one word that each state misspells more than the others, and being the word nerd that I am, I’m fascinated by the words each state struggles with.
For example, Arkansas can’t spell "quesadilla," which I understand. If you don’t understand a little Spanish, you might be confused when someone wants a "kay-suh-DEE-uh." Or just do what I do and order a grilled cheese taco.
Each year, there’s always one try-hard who tries to make themselves look good. This year, Vermont "claims" they can’t spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." Oh, sure, I’ll bet all 648,000 people in the Green Mountain State are just clamoring to spell that word. I think they’re just trying to appear clever.
You know, I don’t believe you’re having problems with that word. Try using it in a sentence besides, "How do you spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?"
On the other hand, I’m more worried about Arizona, Kentucky, South Carolina, and Virginia, because they can’t spell "people," as in "What is wrong with you people?"
Don’t laugh, Pennsylvania, you couldn’t spell that word in 2023. This year, the Keystone State can’t spell "scissors" because they don’t know if it’s the "s" or the "c" that’s silent.
Can you keep a "secret?" North Carolina can’t, because they can’t spell it.
Indiana couldn’t spell "taught," which is embarrassing, but not entirely surprising. According to WalletHub, the Hoosier state ranked 40th on the list of least-educated states in the US. (West Virginia was 50th, Massachusetts was 1st.)
Don’t feel bad, though, Indiana: Nevada couldn’t spell "school," which makes sense since they ranked 45th in terms of least educated states. Nevada, you need to put some of your gambling money into education and get more kids back there.
New Jersey and Illinois must be pretty proud of someone, because they both struggled with "Congratulations." I wonder who they’re proud of. It’s always nice when someone can "appreciate" your accomplishments, unless you’re Montana or New Mexico, because they can’t spell it.
Also, California and Washington can’t spell "appreciation," but that’s because their feelings are hurt because Oregon gets the most attention, and Washington never gets invited to dance.
Don’t worry, though. You’re a lot better at "business" because that’s Oregon’s trouble word.
A lot of states seem to be struggling with self-esteem issues, because seven of them couldn’t spell "beautiful" — Delaware, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nebraska, South Dakota, West Virginia, and Wyoming.
This is down from 2019 and 2021, when 11 states struggled with the word, so maybe more states are starting to recognize their beauty within. Maybe that’s who New Jersey and Illinois are proud of.
There’s a problem in the Land of the Midnight Sun because Alaska has trouble with "tomorrow." That’s not surprising, since they have constant sun six months out of the year. They constantly ask, "Will tomorrow ever come?"
Alabama, Kansas, New York, and Wisconsin must be afraid of change because they all had trouble with the word "different."
There is usually one state that can’t spell its own name, but not this year. In 2016, that was Massachusetts’ problem, and in 2017, it was Wisconsin. In 2021, it was West Virginia, and it was Colorado’s problem in 2022.
But in another head-scratcher, Hawaii can’t spell "luau." Are you serious, Hawaii? That’s your entire personality. That’s like a vegan not being able to spell "it’s just as good as meat."
Florida can’t take a "compliment," Oklahoma is running out of "patience," and Minnesota is working hard to be "successful." Iowa and Louisiana can’t spell "through," and Colorado can’t spell "sergeant." Don’t worry, no one can. It’s a French loan word, and the French don’t want it back.
"Crochet" is another French loan word, which may be why Ohio can’t spell it. That, and they prefer knitting, because you can’t stab anyone with a crochet hook.
Meanwhile, Maine got pretty sick this past winter because they had trouble with "pneumonia," both the spelling and the sickness. Physicians reported an increase in walking pneumonia last December, and sent emails to their patients: "You’ve got walking pnewmoo— walking pnumoan— you’ve got a really bad cold. Stay home."
Connecticut is always running late because they can’t spell "schedule." Michigan itches all over, and they have no way to "scratch" it. And North Dakota is having family troubles because they can’t spell "daughter."
And in the "I totally get it" category, Tennessee can’t spell "broccoli." I get it, Tennessee. I hate broccoli, too.
They say, "Are you sure?"
And I say, "Definitely." Or I would, but Idaho and Utah can’t spell that either.
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.