Friday, June 01, 2012

Hopefully Now Allowed By AP Stylebook

Hopefully Now Allowed By AP Stylebook

Hey, Karl, did you see what the Associated Press Stylebook announced about 'hopefully' last week?

"No, Kid, what's that?"

They said they would no longer object to using the word 'hopefully' at the beginning of a sentence, rather than making people say 'I am hopeful' or 'It is hoped that.'

"Are you kidding me?!" thundered Karl, plonking his empty beer mug down on the bar. We were at Milton's, a literary bar, where Karl had performed admirably in the week's Tuesday night political poetry slam. He plonked again in displeasure. Karl is a serious word snob.

Sadly, no, I'm not, I said. They said it wasn't really necessary to do anymore.

"Why the hell not?"

Unfortunately, the rule has just fallen by the wayside. They said it has become a victim of 'common usage,' the idea that so many people were using it that the English language has once again grown and evolved to allow it as a rule. They made the announcement, and it caused quite the uproar online. A lot of people have refused to accept it, because they still think it's wrong.

"Because it IS wrong," said Karl. He gestured at Kurt, the bartender, for two more beers. "Kid, I tell you, sometimes I despair for the language I love. People are just screwing it up for the rest of us because they're too lazy to learn the damn rules. Have I ever told you about my high school English teacher, Mrs. Kugelschreiber?"

Frequently, I said.

He continued on as if I hadn't said anything. "Mrs. Kugelschreiber loved language. She loved it like a mother loves a child. And she wanted to impart that knowledge to her students, so we would learn to love it as much as she did. While most kids didn't care about it, I loved it. I loved learning about language from her, I loved reading books, I loved writing." Karl paused and took a drink.

"And do you know how I studied for her class?"

Eagerly? I asked.

"Eagerly!" he enthused, plonking his beer again for good measure, ignoring the spillover. I hear this story every time some style guide changes a small writing rule. "Mrs. Kugelschreiber made me want to be a writer. Without her, I'd be a lifer at the state government, overseeing contracts and capital purchases."

Honestly, Karl, it's not that big a deal. Language changes, rules change. What was considered acceptable back when you were a kid changed at the turn of the century, back when Teddy Roosevelt was president.

"Ha ha, Kid," Karl deadpanned. "How's it feel to kick an old man when he's down?"

Surprisingly, pretty good.

"You don't understand, Kid. This 'hopefully' rule was what separated us language snobs from the language slobs."

You stole that from William Safire, I said.

"Yeah, so?" challenged Karl. "What's he going to do about it?"

Probably nothing. He died three years ago.

"Well crap, this is going to suck," pouted Karl. "He would have been the man to lead the charge against this abomination, this travesty of grammatical justice. Now who will help us fight against these Philistines of foulness?"

Seriously, Karl, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?

"Not at all. This is an important issue to grammar purists everywhere. The line must be drawn here. This far, and no further"

Really? Now you're quoting Captain Picard?

"Hey, whatever works."

So what are you going to use instead? 'It is to be hoped that?' One hopefully hater suggested that as a 'natural substitute,' but that's about as natural as the red carpet walk at the Oscars. And if you ever use that as a sentence starter, I'm going to shred your entire manuscript.

"Thankfully, it won't ever happen," said Karl. "Because I'm a good writer."

Actually, you're a selective rule follower. You're not even following an entire grammar rule, you're just re-spouting the same nonsense as other misinformed grammar purists. And besides, you just said 'thankfully.'

"Kid, what are you talking about?"

Karl, think about it. Nearly every sentence I've said back to you started with a floating sentence adverb, just like hopefully. The fact that I did it, and you and every other grammar grump have never groused about those words should tell you that this is just a bugbear that people like to flog to sound smart. But the fact is, it should never have been a rule in the first place; it was created back in the 60s, even though it had been acceptable before then. Otherwise, words like sadly, unfortunately, and frequently would have raised red flags for you too. Which means it's not a real rule.

Karl stammered and sputtered, not quite knowing what to say. I had won the argument, and he was going to pout in silence for a little while.

Hopefully it will last for more than a few minutes this time.

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Insider Notes

Here's some extra bonus material that readers of my newspaper column don't get.

If you want to read a well-reasoned article about using and not using the word "hopefully," check out the Grammar Girl website. Her contention is that while it is not correct to use it in most instances, there are instances where it is okay to use.

The thing to realize about what the AP has done is they have said they will no longer object to sentences that start with the word Hopefully. What does that mean to you, the regular reader? Absolutely nothing. The Associated Press writes the AP Stylebook, which is a guide that's really only intended for journalists and editors working for the Associated Press. However, most media outlets use it as well, except for some big ones, like the New York Times. The AP does not have any control over the way regular people use language. They're not the arbiters of proper usage. If you don't want to use "hopefully" to start a sentence, you don't have to. No one can make you, including the Associated Press.


My book, Branding Yourself: How to Use Social Media to Invent or Reinvent Yourself (affiliate link), is available on Amazon.com, as well as at Barnes & Noble and Borders bookstores. I wrote it with my good friend, Kyle Lacy.

My latest book, No Bullshit Social Media: The All-Business, No-Hype Guide to Social Media Marketing is also out. You can get it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million in October, or get it for the Kindle or Nook.

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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Unofficial Results for 2012 Indianapolis 500

These are your unofficial Indianapolis 500 results.

Driver — Laps completed — Status

1. Dario Franchitti — 200 — Running
2. Scott Dixon — 200 — Running
3. Toni Kanaan — 200 — Running

4. Oriol Servia — 200 — Running
5. Ryan Briscoe — 200 — Running
6. James Hinchcliffe — 200 — Running

7. Justin Wilson — 200 — Running
8. Charlie Kimball — 200 — Running
9. Townsend Bell — 200 — Running

10. Helio Castroneves — 200 — Running
11. Rubens Barrichello — 200 — Running
12. Alex Tagliani — 200 — Running

13. Graham Rahal — 200 — Running
14. JR Hildebrand — 200 — Running
15. James Jakes — 200 — Running

16. Simon Pagenaud — 200 — Running
17. Takuma Sato — 199 — Running
18. EJ Viso — 199 — Running

19. Michel Jourdain — 199 — Running
20. Sebastien Bourdais — 199 — Running
21. Ed Carpenter — 199 — Running

22. Katherine Legge — 199 — Running
23. Ana Beatriz — 190 — Running
24. Marco Andretti — 187 — DNF, Accident

25. Josef Newgarden — 161 — DNF, Mechanical
26. Sebastian Saavedra — 143 — DNF, Mechanical
27. Ryan Hunter-Reay — 123 — DNF, Mechanical

28. Will Power — 79 — DNF, Accident (with Conway)
29. Mike Conway — 78 — DNF, Accident (with Power)
30. Brian Clauson — 46 — DNF, Accident

31. Wade Cunningham — 42 — DNF, Mechanical
32. Simona de Silvestro — 10 — DNF, Black Flag
33. Jean Alesi — 9 — DNF, Black Flag

Dario Franchitti Wins the Indianapolis 500, As Takuma Sato Hits the Wall

Dario Franchitti has become a 3-time winner of the Indianapolis 500 after an exciting finish that saw Takuma Sato claimed by the same Thin White Line that claimed Marco Andretti just moments before. Sato got loose on the white line and plowed into the wall, ending what was a very exciting race.

Dario, who is sporting #50 (because it's Target's 50th anniversary), celebrated by putting on Dan Wheldon's white sunglasses and then hoisting the winner's wreath over his head. It was a very touching moment when I saw him don Dan's glasses.

Dario choked up (and so did I) when he dedicated the race to his friend Dan Wheldon. The man is a class act and I always enjoy watching him race. He said the thing he is most proud of is having his face on the Borg Warner trophy next to Dan Wheldon's.

Marco Andretti Another Victim of the Thin White Line

Marco Andretti went out of the race on lap 187 after he crossed the inside white line, ran into some rough terrain, and slid into the wall, and out of the race. Every crash that has ended up going into the wall started on that thin white line.

The Andretti Curse strikes again.

Rookie Josef Newgarden Out With Engine Problems

Rookie racer Josef Newgarden is out of the race with engine problems. He got on the radio, said he had problems with the engine just quitting, and has pulled off into the infield. He's getting checked out, and will have a tow. No one knows for sure whether he'll make it back in.

At this point in the race, he's 24th with 161 laps, while Ana Beatriz is still running in 25th with 154 laps complete. Assuming they don't hit the Fix It button on Newgarden's car, Ana Beatriz will eventually pass Newgarden and take over 24th.

Beatriz is having the kind of race I was hoping Jean Alesi and Simona de Silvestro would have had, but unfortunately, they were saddled with the Slotus engines, and were black flagged after 9 and 10 laps respectively.

Sebastian Saavedra Stalled On Warmup Lane, in Pits

Sebastian Saavedra has stalled on the warmup lane, and was towed into the pits. We're waiting to see what the diagnosis is, but right now, he has completed 143 laps, and is sitting in 25th place.

Ana Beatriz is 5 laps behind him at 138 and is still driving. If she can hold on, she will pass him in just a few minutes.

Ryan Hunter-Reay Out After Suspension Problems

Ryan Hunter-Reay was being picked by some IndyCar fans as a possible winner, especially given his 3rd place position on the starting lineup. So it was more than a little disappointing that RHR had to bring it in to the pit and shut it down after experiencing some suspension problems. He didn't seem to have any contact, something just broke on his car. He finished in 27th place with 123 laps.

Ana Beatriz Hits the Wall in Turn 2

Ana Beatriz went into the wall in turn #2 after some oversteering. She didn't seem to bash into it too hard, so she may actually be able to get some work done and get back out on the track. They're towing her right this minute.

Ed Carpenter was actually riding behind Beatriz, and very nearly T-boned her as she came out of the spin, but with some lightning fast reflexes, he dodged left and missed her completely.

Beatriz was on lap 88, and she is the second woman out of the race, leaving only Katherine Legge.

Mike Conway, Will Power Involved in Accident

Mike Conway and Will Power have ended their day after an accident that appears to have been caused by bad track conditions. Going into turn #1, Conway got a little loose on his rear wheels — after coming back onto the track after a penalty for hitting a couple of his crew members — and was hit by Will Power from behind. Power drove under Conway's car, which lifted him up into the air.

Conway found himself flying ass-first along the wall, head toward the wall (although he never hit it), while Power managed to get down to the infield.

Later replays showed Helio Castroneves finessing his way into the warmup lane to avoid one of Conway's tires that had been rolling down the track. He bumped the tire, and asked for a new tire and for a quick look at his right front wing.

Luckily everyone was okay, and Conway and Power were both able to get out of the car under their own power.

Jean Alesi and Simona de Silvestro Pulled Black Flagged

Jean Alesi and Simona de Silvestro were black flagged from the race for not enough speed. Alesi had completed 9 laps, de Silvestro had completed 10. This is a very disappointing finish, because de Silvestro was looking at a good 500, and Alesi came out of retirement from Formula1 to race.

Lotus Engines needs to be completely embarrassed by this turn of events, because they provided sub-par engines to two world class racers in the biggest race in the world. Alesi and de Silvestro had hoped for a power boost to their engines, but they did not get any help.

I hope these two drivers return next year with better engines from a much better engine manufacturer. Lotus needs to apologize for providing them with the auto racing equivalent of a windup toy.

Brian Clauson Flats His Tire, Does Not Hit Wall

Brian Clauson of Noblesville, IN spun out on lap 14. Apparently got a little too low on the white line and flatted his tire. He didn't even hit the wall, so he's still got a chance to keep racing.

Starting grid for the 2012 Indy 500

1. Ryan Briscoe

 

2. James Hinchcliffe

3. Ryan Hunter-Reay

 

4. Marco Andretti

5. Will Power

6. Helio Castroneves

 

7. Josef Newgarden

8. Tony Kanaan

9. EJ Viso

 

10. Rubens Barrichello

11. Alex Tagliani

12. Graham Rahal

 

13. Ana Beatriz

14. Charlie Kimball

15. Scott Dixon

 

16. Dario Franchitti

17. James Jakes

18. JR Hildebrand

 

19. Takuma Sato

20. Townsend Bell

21. Justin Wilson

 

22. Michel Jourdain

23. Simon Pagenaud

24. Sebastian Saavedra

 

25. Sebastien Bourdais

26. Wade Cunningham

27. Oriol Servia

 

28. Ed Carpenter

29. Mike Conway

30. Katherine Legge

 

31. Bryan Clauson

32. Simona de Silvestro

33. Jean Alesi

 

Alesi and de Silvestro are at a distinct disadvantage, because they are using the slower, more suck-filled Lotus engines. They tried to get IMS to allow Lotus to remove some of the suck from the engines, but with no luck. The only way they're going to do well is if they are far enough back that they avoid some of the early race accidents. Alesi is also a top-notch Formula1 driver, and so his experience should give him an edge over all of the rookies, and many of the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th year drivers. He may not win, but he won't finish where he started either. Looking for him to crack the top 25.