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Showing posts from June, 2011

The Ten Commandments of Birthdays

The Ten Commandments of BirthdaysI turn 44 next week. I'm not going to raise a fuss, or be embarrassed by my advanced age. If anything, I see it as evidence that I'm doing everything right. It also gives me some insight to the proper way that birthdays should be celebrated. So here are my Ten Commandments of Birthdays.

1) Thou shalt not be an old poop and refuse to acknowledge thy birthday. Everyone has one, so it's no use pretending you don't. You're already getting older, and ignoring your birthday won't make that stop. Also, you may say you don't want to draw attention to yourself, but then go through the year shrieking, "I DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY! I DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY!" Please know that this attracts way more attention than sucking it up and smiling and thanking people for one day a year.

2) Thou shalt be happy about surprise parties held in thy honor. In addition to not being an old poop about your birthday,…

Indiana Fever Beat Tulsa Shock, 82 - 74

Tuesday night, my family and I got to see an exciting Indiana Fever game as they played host to the Tulsa Shock. And while the score may show an 8 point differential, this gap didn't happen until the last 60 seconds of the game. Until that point, the two teams were constantly trading leads, rarely if ever going up by more than 3 points at any one time.

Greenwood native Katie Douglas continued to please the crowd with an awesome offensive performance that no one else was able to manage, points-wise. She nailed 8 of 13 field goals, and 6 of 9 three-pointers. Percentage-wise, only Aussie standout Erin Phillips was able to touch her, sinking 4 of 4 from inside the 3-point line, giving her 100% on the night.

Still this ain't baseball. Percentages don't win games, points do. And besides, Katie is one of my favorites, so I'm giving her the game MVP. Also, Erin was born the year I graduated from high school, so shut up.

This year is going to be an awesome year for the Deckers cla…

Lamenting the Loss of Childhood

Lamenting the Loss of ChildhoodIt's nearly Father's Day, and I'm ruminating — at a playground with my 8-year-old son — about his life compared to my own as an 8-year-old. About what it was like for the Eriks and Davids and Julies of 1975, compared to the Jeremys and Carters and Chloes of 2011.

Life has changed in the last three-and-a-half decades, and not necessarily for the better. Whether it's the fault of a fear-mongering media, an overly litigious society, or helicopter parents and their spoiled kids.

The playground where I'm sitting is a microcosm of today's society. I can remember the playground of my day, and I see a few good things, and a lot of things that make me despair.

One of the cool things? I see some Asian kids, Indian kids, African-American kids, and Latino kids, all playing with some white kids. You just didn't see that in 1975 Muncie. But that's where the cool stuff ends.

This playground is built on a thick rubber mat, guaranteed to cushi…

I’ll Have What She’s Having

I’ll Have What She’s HavingErik is not feeling well this week, so we are reprinting a column from 1999 when he lived in Syracuse, Indiana, because we're feeling all nostalgic and want to see whether we can get away with it.

I’ve sometimes considered being a restaurant critic, but there aren't many I don't like, except for the restaurant that delivers shish kebabs William Tell style.

Unfortunately most restaurants sell the same items with no great variety. The typical restaurant, assuming it’s not a four-star gourmet restaurant, serves some sort of hamburger (and the ones that do will charge you 15 bucks for it). Every restaurant has some variation on chicken, vegetables, and salads. There’s no major difference in taste or quality, assuming they're all competent. The biggest difference is the name of the food, which varies wildly from restaurant to restaurant.

Since the hamburger is usually a restaurant’s flagship sandwich, it’s named after the restaurant or one of its cha…

Air Rage Forces Pilot to Turn Plane Around

Air Rage Forces Pilot to Turn Plane AroundIt's getting harder to fly these days. The TSA is groping its passengers, airlines are trying to gouge travelers with new charges, seats are getting smaller, and people are getting angrier. I used to travel quite a bit and while it was difficult 10 years ago, it has gotten a lot harder these days.

I flew out to Portland, Oregon this past week to visit family and see a part of the country I don't get to see that often. I always love coming out to Oregon. It's a different mindset out here. People are more dedicated to the environment, they have a public transportation system you only find in Europe, and there are more independent coffee shops than you can shake an organic non-fat stick at.

Oregon is the only state in the country where drivers are not allowed to pump their own gas. Rather, the gas station attendants have to do it for you. It's also one of the only states that allows medically assisted suicide for the terminally ill.