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Showing posts from 2008

Chrysler Faces Criticism for Full-Page Ads in WSJ, USA Today

Dear Chrysler,

I appreciate the thank you. I really do. But seriously, full-page newspaper ads? Those things aren't cheap. I mean, you put ads in USA Today, Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Washington Post, and Atlanta Journal-Constitution. (And you skipped the Indianapolis Star?! Jerks.)

Think about what you're doing, just for once, please. An ad in the WSJ can cost anywhere from $206,000 to $264,000, while an ad in USA Today can cost between $112,000 and $217,000. Meanwhile, the New York Times charges $194,000 for a full page ad in their business section. And given your track record, I'm guessing you got soaked for the whole $675,000 just for those three.

Not smart, even for you guys.

I wouldn't be surprised if your ad buys hit $750,000, or even $1 million, tops.

Given your complete boneheadedness on the whole "taking three private jets to tell Congress we don't have any money" screwup, this is just the cherry on top of the Bonehead Sundae.

Instead of…

Erik's Culinary Adventures: How I Got a Friend to Eat Haggis

It’s how David must have felt after he watched Goliath topple to the ground: a feeling that he had just achieved a major milestone. A milestone whose effects would ripple through history and be spoken of by generations.

It’s how I felt at lunch one autumn afternoon. That’s because I got my friend Dave to eat haggis.

Haggis is a traditional Scottish dish, which includes a sheep’s heart, lungs, and liver, mixed with some vegetables, and barley. It’s the same consistency as pâté or deviled ham. I happen to like it, although I’m in the distinct minority.

We were eating at MacNiven’s, a Scottish restaurant in Indianapolis, and I showed up a few minutes early.

“I’m meeting a friend,” I told our waitress. “He doesn’t like anything too weird or different, and it was a stretch to get him to come here. So could we get a very small sample of haggis, and a couple pieces of bread? Just bring it out when he shows up, but don’t say what it is, or he won’t eat it.”

When Dave sat down, he was greeted by an…

Palin versus PETA: Snowballs at 10 paces

I'm not a big fan of PETA orSarah Palin. So in this latest battle between Caribou Barbie and the Caribou Bulkwarks, I can't decide who I want to win. (I'm leaning slightly in Palin's favor, since she doesn't hide the fact that she kills animals; PETA does.)

It seems Governor Palin's office is not very happy with PETA's new online game that lets you pelt the former Republican VP candidate with snowballs. PETA president Ingrid Newkirk received an angry phone call from an unnamed person at Palin's office. When she asked the caller for his name, he yelled, "Just take the game down or you'll read my name on the lawsuit."

Well, now that sounds like a challenge. I say let the lawsuit go through just to see who the obnoxious jerk is.

To be fair, Palin is not the only one you get to hit. You can also go after Anna Wintour, Madonna, the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen , and Colonel Sanders.

Here's a piece of what PETA says on the Alaska Report, their Ala…

International Stupidest Criminals of 2008

It's heartening to see that the United Stated is not the only country that suffers from stupid criminals, like the three separate morons who attacked their girlfriends with a sandwich.

Thanks to a recent story in New Zealand's Stuff news website, we can learn about other stupid criminals from other parts of the world.

Like German tourist Jan Philip Scharbert who sprayed graffiti on the Franz Josef Glacier. Some English tourists videotaped Scharberts schtupidity and he was ordered to clean up the graffiti. It took him a day and a half, but he was able to avoid any charges because authorities were pleased with his efforts.

Like Hayden Tibbotts from Christchurch, who was arrested for drunk driving after his 1988 Ford Laser got stuck in the sand at Waikuku Beach.

But Tibbotts said he hadn't been drunk when he was driving. Instead, they got drunk to "celebrate" the car getting sucked into the ocean.

Tibbotts said they left the car as the waves got bigger, and called the po…

Welcome Bilerico Project Visitors

Hello Bilerico Project visitors!If you're here because of my gay penguins column at the Bilerico Project, welcome and thanks for stopping by (if you're not, welcome anyway). If you're here because you hated it, you don't want me, you want the Belgian Erik Deckers.

If you have a few minutes, take a look around and check out some past columns. I publish a weekly humor column on Friday mornings, and have some shorter humor posts every day of the week.

Some past columns of interest:
I Don't Believe in the Little Drummer BoyWERIK RadioThe Birds and Bees Are Out to Get MePlease Excuse Erik From His Column This Week
Again, thanks for stopping by, and have a great weekend.

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MIchigan Makes 'Being Annoying' a Crime

Brighton, Michigan just gave me the best reason to consider moving up there: it's now a crime to be annoying in public. I hope this includes people who drive with their stereos loud enough that the bass defribrillates anyone within 50 feet.

Earlier last week, the Brighton City Council voted to adopt stricter rules for public conduct, including not annoying someone else. Annoyers can be ticketed and fined by police.

One of the new sections says, "It shall be unlawful for a person to engage in a course of conduct or repeatedly commit acts that alarm or seriously annoy another person and that serve no legitimate purpose."

This means people won't be allowed to say "it is what it is," the OxyClean commercials will be eiliminated, and police have Shoot On Sight orders for Andy Dick.

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Gobbledygook, Drivel, and Tripe in 2008

Gobbledygook, Drivel, and Tripe in 2008Erik Deckers
Laughing Stalk Syndicate
Copyright 2008

It's the most wonderful time of the year. With grammar geeks yelling, and the PEC telling, for us to be clear. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

Earlier this month, the annual Plain English Campaign (PEC) Awards were handed out, praising those who communicate clearly, and pointing their fingers and laughing at those who don't. Recipients are given the Foot in Mouth and Golden Bull for garbled messages, and the Plain English for the year's clearest.

This year, the PEC gave out eight Golden Bulls to Scottish Life pension specialists, DC Site Advisors, and the Financial Services team at McGill University, Canada, plus five others. My favorite is from Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (the British IRS), which wrote this little gem in a letter to a taxpayer:

"Thank you for your Tax Returns ended 5th April 2006 & 2007 which we received on 20th December. I will treat you…

Merry Christmas

Just a quick Christmas wish to all my readers from Indianapolis, home of the world's tallest Christmas tree (so suck on THAT, Rockefeller Center!)

Bird Poop Crushes BMW, Hummer

I know bird poop can damage a car's finish. But to crush a BMW and a Hummer? That's a lot of poop.

But that's what happened in Yuma, AZ. According to a story in the Yuma (Ariz.) Sun, police there believe a thick layer of pigeon crap got soaked with rain and caused a gas station's canopy to collapse on top of a BMW and a Hummer. Luckily no one was injured, except for the Shell Station's manager's pride, who had no comment.

The owner of a nearby appliance store said there was at least 4 to 5 inches of pigeon poop on the canopy.

"It never fails," said the owner of one of the vehicles. "I just washed the thing, and I get bird crap on it."

"Our officers are not structural engineers," Major Leon Wilmot of the Yuma County sheriff's office told the Sun, "but a large amount of pigeon excrement has built up on that roof. It had been up there quite awhile.

"Initial information says that because of heavy rains, it is being speculated…

Woman Sues University For Not Being Named Homecoming Queen

Sandra Howery, a non-traditional student at Sacramento State University, is suing SSU because she wasn't named Homecoming Queen. She says she scored the most points to win, but lost the Electoral College vote, and someone else was named the winner.

"I am not a sore loser; it's just the principle of everything," Howery told CBS13, Sacramento, California's local CBS affiliate.

No, you're a sore loser. "It's the principle of the thing" is the battle cry of the sore loser.

Howery believed that if she made more donations than anyone else, she could win. She had over 1,400 points just for donations.

Sandra claims student affairs made it seem like if she got the most donations she could win.

"I knew that I donated a lot more than everybody else; I had over 1,400 points for donations," said Sandra.

Meanwhile, Cassy Hughes, a friend of the winner, says it takes more than just donations. She told CBS13, "there's an interview, your essay, your…

Metallica's "Enter Sandman" Performed on Kazoo

Rarely do you ever see the words "kazoo" and "rocks" in the same sentence. but Mister Tim's performance of Metallica's "Enter the Sandman" just rocks. And it's funny. Mister Tim performs all four parts, including James Hetfield's menacing stare.

I try to only post once a day, but there are videos that just call for a second post. This version made me go out and buy it on iTunes.

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British Bankers Mock People Harmed by Credit Crunch

It's not enough that they caused the crisis, now British bankers are mocking their victims.

In an article in the Sunday issue of the London Express, a group of idiot bankers calling themselves the City Boyz (note the 'Z,' to make them more cool and hip) released a video on YouTube laughing about the misery the banks have caused their fellow Britons.

The chorus includes the lovely line, "Sorry we f---ed up your Christmas, but really we don’t give a s---.”

City Boyz spokesman Dave -- probably the one most able to form complete sentences -- told the Express, "We were down O'Neills, pissed (drunk) as usual and pissed off that we were getting the blame for the crunch all the bloody time. Then we all thought you know what, we don’t really give a s--t. We’ve all done OK, sod ’em."

So, not knowing anything else about British investment bankers, I have learned the following:

They're often drunk, as shown by the "as usual" statement.They made plenty of mo…

English Salvation Army Not Allowed to Shake Collection Tins

Every Christmas, the Salvation Army can be found outside most supermarkets and malls, ringing their bells with their little red buckets, asking people to spare some change to help the poor, needy, and anyone own on their luck.

But in a few cities around the U.S., some cheap Scrooges who don't want to be reminded of their stinginess have managed to stop the bell ringing, if not banning the red kettles outright.

Meanwhile, England has managed to top them all. After 130 years of rattling tins – they don't ring bells over there – the Salvation Army has been told they can't do it anymore, because it might "offend other religions."

They could shake a tambourine, but they can't shake a can.

Salvation Army volunteers have been told they can't shake their charity tins, because it might harass or intimidate people, or offend other religions. They can't even do it in time to the music.

City councils and the police can enforce the no-rattle rule, and prosecute or b…

Top Five Grammar and Language Pet Peeves of 2008

Language maven and podcaster Grammar Girl, a.k.a. Mignon Fogarty, compiled a list of the Top Five Language Pet Peeves, as submitted by her listeners and chosen by her.

Numbers 5 and 4 were two of my biggest pet peeves, and to be honest, I had never heard of numbers 3 – 1. Here they are.

5. Carelessness – Just general carelessness. Misuse and misspellings in professionally produced materials and errors in comment posts where people are talking about their peeves. (Translation: if you complain about peeves in a grammar blog, make sure you use proper grammar yourself.)

I have seen a number of mistakes that should never have been made, including news casters – professional communicators who ought to know better – using "further" instead of "farther," or say "you and I" when they should say "you and me."

Also, we who hate carelessness are tired of being called pedantic for their concern for language. (Translation: We're not a bunch of uptight grammar…

Toni Deckers Wearable and Carryable Art

My wife, Toni Deckers, is an accomplished artist working in mixed media. She creates bracelets, earrings, and necklaces from semi-precious stones, glass beads, and metal beads. She also turns old cigar boxes into one-of-a-kind handbags.

When you get a chance, please stop by her Etsy site and check it out.

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I Don't Believe in the Little Drummer Boy - 2008

I Don't Believe in the Little Drummer BoyErik Deckers
Laughing Stalk Syndicate
Copyright 2008

Christmas is a time of traditions. One of Erik's Christmas traditions is to reprint the Little Drummer Boy column because he's usually on the couch, sleeping off too much egg nog again.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. My birthday, my anniversary, and any other time people give me presents are also big favorites.

To get myself into the Christmas spirit, I like to listen to Christmas music. So I hit the department stores around mid-August to hear "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "Jingle Bell Rock." But while I appreciate the Christmas cheer, I'm amazed the sales clerks haven't killed anyone by the middle of November.

I'm a big fan of the classics, "Jingle Bells," "Silent Night" and the Sex Pistols' "Have Yourself a Merry $%@&#! Christmas." But there are a few songs that, given a choice, I'd at…

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

From the guys over at, here are 40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes from some of the greatest (and funniest) movies in the last 50 years.

Some of my favorites:

Charlie Brown as the only animated clip. (:46)
Clint Eastwood: "I mean plum mad dog mean" (1:03)
Kirk Douglas shedding a tear in "Spartacus" (1:58)

There's more. Lots more. But if you want to be inspired by every great inspirational movie speech, check this video out.

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Poets Take a Frigid Plunge to Increase Awareness of Poetry

Twelve poets from Seattle were silly
They jumped into waters quite chilly
They want us to care
About verses so fair
But instead they shrunk up their willies.

Twelve poets in Seattle jumped into frigid lake waters to help increase awareness of poetry.

According to an article in the Seattle Times, poet/artist Mimi Allen has organized similar "guerilla" art events. Her goal was to "make poetry fun, get it in the news, wake people up and bring together rival camps of 'page poets and stage poets.'"

By fun, I don't think she meant freezing ones' uhh. . . barbaric yawps in a lake in December.

The best line from the whole event came from Drew Curtis over at Fark:

"Twelve poets plunge into a frigid lake to to bring attention to the world of poetry, also because "shrunk" and "junk" rhyme."

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Third Sandwich Attack in Florida

It's becoming an epidemic in the Port St. Lucie/Vero Beach, Fla. area: there has been a third sandwich-related attacks by guys on their girlfriend.

The previous two were a Vero Beach man who assaulted his girlfriend with a cheeseburger, and a Port St. Lucie man who attacked his S.O. with an unnamed sandwich.

This time it's 20-year-old Matthew Rubin doing the attacking. The police report says Rubin hit his girlfriend with a sandwich, then bopping her on the top of the head with his fist, before fleeing the scene. Rubin admits to hitting her with the sandwich, but not his fist. He was arrested this past Friday, and is being charged with battery. Police have not specified what sandwich was used.

While the coincidence would be delicious, I doubt it was a Reuben sandwich.

Normally, I would suspect copycat crimes for something like this, but something tells me these sandwich slappers aren't the type to read newspapers or keep up on current events. I can only conclude it's someth…

Madonna is Worse Than a Mass Murdering Dictator, says Catholic Priest

American singer and sex fiend Madonna's behavior is "lustful, a stain on humanity, and offensive to God," said a Roman Catholic priest with close ties to now-deceased military dictator and mass murderer General Augusto Pinochet.

Cardinal Jorge Medina was speaking at a mass for Pinochet, who is responsible for the disappearance or death of 3,000 people, when he told the congregation, "The atmosphere in our city is pretty agitated because this woman is visiting and with incredibly shameful behavior provokes a wild and lustful enthusiasm."

Madonna appeared in Santiago. Chile as part of her "Sticky and Sweet" tour, in support of her Hard Candy album.

Really?! You're honoring a guy who is responsible for the deaths of 3,000 people, and you're worried about middle-aged women with granny arms doing a sexy dance on stage? Really?!

This is like Rod Blagojevich lecturing Elliot Sptizer on marital fidelity

"Thoughts of lust, impure thoughts, impure acts,…

More Stupid Baby Names in Australia

If you're new parents in Australia, you can't name your kids Coca-Cola, Gummi Bears, or King John I. Similarly, if you're an adult, you can't change your name to those either.

The Queensland Registry of Birth, Deaths, and Marriages quickly nixed those names for name change requests in 2008.

"Parents are able to decide their own spelling when choosing a name for their baby, however in Queensland there are certain regulations governing what the name can be," Kerry Shine, Queensland's Attorney-General, told the Brisbane Courier-Mail. "You cannot choose a name which includes an official title or rank ... it also cannot be a trademark, or consist of or include symbols without phonetic significance."

New Zealand has similar uptightness about stupid names, having rejected the name "4Real" for a baby, but reluctantly allowed "Superman" instead. Apparently, New Zealand doesn't have the same restrictions on trademarked names, choosing…

You Oughta Know Inbound Marketing

Back in October, I wrote a post about White Female Gangsta Bloggas, two women from Indianapolis-based Compendium Blogware, who did a parody of SNL's Lazy Sunday to discuss the features and benefits of their blogging software.

Now it looks like HubSpot is getting in on the action. Rebecca Corliss has done a great job spoofing Alanis Morrisette's You Oughta Know, with You Oughta Know Inbound Marketing.

Now if I can just get Kyle Lacy at Brandswag to do something on social networks to J*** In My Pants, we'll have a social media hat trick. (Maybe Ning In My Pants?)

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Victoria Beckham Says Her Husband Likes Her "Natural." Uhhhhh....

Victoria "Plastic Spice" Beckham recently told Cosmopolitan Magazine that her husband, soccer superstar David Beckham, likes her "natural."

She told Cosmo, "I rarely wear (makeup) at home. I think men probably like women more natural than we think they do - David always says he likes me make up-free."


By natural, can we assume you don't mean fake boobs, hair dyed by nuclear reactors, or enough spray-on tan to paint the entire Seventh Fleet?

"Contrary to rumour, I don't hop into my own tanning booth," Beckham told Cosmo. "I did get sent one once, but I don't use it! I get spray tans by this talented guy in LA who makes it look really natural."

Again with the "natural" thing. "You keep using this word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

(That's pre-David Posh Spice on the right.)

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Education Reform Eliminates Red Pens, F Grades

Education Reform Eliminates Red Pens, F GradesErik Deckers
Laughing Stalk Syndicate
Copyright 2008

Do you remember when we were kids, whenever our teacher marked our papers with a red pen, we became despondent, realized we were complete failures, and would spend the next three days in bed without showering or eating? And we would wail, "why can't she use a blue pen for once? Or even a black pen?"

Of course not. But that's what the Queensland, Australia state health agency thinks happens. They distributed 1,000 "Good Mental Health Rocks" kits to 30 schools, offering different tips to help build students' self-esteem. Useful tips like "don't mark in red pen (which can be seen as aggressive) – use a different color."

I was an emotional kid growing up, but I don't ever recall flying into a murderous rage, screaming "Red pen?! What are red pen marks doing on my paper? No red pens ever!"

But to hear Stephen Robertson, Queensland's He…

Britain Has Some Odd Laws, like Don't Cause Nuclear Explosion or Disturb Eggs

British MPs (Members of Parliament) have introduced some pretty stupid laws over the past years. Eleven years, to be exact.

These aren't old, outdated laws from the 1800s that forbid unmarried people from sleeping in the same hotel bed. These are laws the Labour party has introduced since they took power in 1997. Labour has created 3,600 new criminal laws since that time.

According to a story from Agence France-Presse, it's against the law to disturb packs of eggs after being ordered by an "authorized officer" from doing so. It's also against the law to offer to sell wild birds that were killed on a Sunday or Christmas Day, willfully pretending to be a barrister, or to cause a nuclear explosion.

Liberal Democrat MP Chris Huhne has accused Labor of creating these stupid laws, and accused Prime Minister Gordon Brown's government of doing nothing to repeal the laws. He was then clapped in irons and hauled away, since it's against the law to accuse Gordon Brown …

British Man Dies From Picking His Nose

I had always thought it was a joke, but apparently you can die from picking your nose. It happened to Ian Bothwell of Manchester, England on or around September 5.

According to a story in the London Telegraph, the 63-year-old man, who suffered from dementia as a result of alcoholism, had picked his nose so much he bled to death.

In an inquest last week into Bothwells death, Nigel Meadows, Manchester coroner, said, "There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nosebleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death."

Meadows said the death was a result of "misadventure."

My dad once told me he suffered a nosebleed so bad he went to the hospital because it wouldn't stop. However, in his defense, I don't think it was a result of picking his nose. At least I hope not.

(BTW, that's Crown Prince Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands going for gold at the 2008 Beijing Olympics…

Paul and Storm's 25 Days of Randy Newman Christmas Songs

Musical comedic geniuses Paul and Storm have their own little Christmas offering, the 25 days of Newman. As in Randy "Short People" Newman, not the fat guy from Seinfeld. If you're a Bob and Tom fan, you've no doubt heard Paul and Storm. B&T are big fans of P&S.

To celebrate Christmas, Paul and Storm are writing new movie themes in the style of Randy Newman (Songs in the Key of Newman?). They're posting the new ones every day from December 1st to December 25th.

You can download them free on iTunes, an RSS feed, or their Bandcamp page.

(Special thanks to good friend Rhett Cochran for the heads-up!)
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Australian Parliament May Require Breathalyzer Test

Australian politicians in New South Wales may have to submit to Breathalyzer tests before they're allowed to enter Parliament. It happened after Nationals MP (Member of Parliament) Andrew Fraser shoved fellow MP Katrina Hodgkinson.

According to a story in the Australia Daily Telegraph, Fraser had been at a Christmas party before returning to Parliament for a late night vote. However, he denies he was drunk.

Fraser started talking smack to John Aquilina, the Government leader in the Legislative Assembly, when Hodgkinson tried to mediate. So Fraser shoved her.

If he wasn't drunk, then he must be a real A-hole.

Since Fraser ruined it for everyone else, a group of MPs began demanding voluntary breath testing machines so the MPs could show they weren't drunk before voting on important issues or shoving each other. However, the MPs seem to forget that "voluntary" means you don't have to do it, and you're free to get hammered and push your colleagues whenever you w…

Assault With a Burger, Food Related Assaults on the Rise

Authorities (mostly me) are becoming alarmed at the increasing number of food-related domestic violence attacks in Florida.

An unnamed Vero Beach, Fla. man allegedly assaulted his girlfriend with a McDonald's cheeseburger during an argument in a car in front of their home.

According to the Indian County Sheriff's office, the woman threw the guy's drink out the window, so he smashed her in the face with his burger. After they got out of the car, he hit her in the face again.

This is the second time in two months that a man has hit his girlfriend in the face with a sandwich. Back in November, a Fort Pierce, Fla. man whacked his girlfriend in the face with a sandwich while they were driving down I-95.

Emmanuelle Rodriguez admitted to police that he hit his girlfriend with the sandwich, because "he didn't want to hit her." Instead, he ripped the rear view mirror off and started whacking the windshield with it.

It's interesting to note that Vero Beach and Fort Pier…

Let Me Google That For You

If you've ever been asked a question that can easily be Googled, there's a new website that will help you answer your friend's question and make him feel like a complete moron at the same time. (Friendship WIN!)

Let Me Google That For You was created by Jim Garvin and Ryan McGeary as a way to show people how to answer questions that could be answered if they only knew the name of the most popular search engine in the universe.

"'Let me Google that for you' is something I think most people in the IT field have had to say to someone they were frustrated with," Garvin wrote in an email to LA Times blogger Mark Milian. "For me and a few people I know, it happens with regular frequency."

You can see a little LMGTFY sample and find out what the original capital of Indiana was. (Hint: It wasn't Indianapolis.)

Thanks, Mr. Obvious. You're a life saver.

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The Worst Christmas Gifts of 2008

The Worst Christmas Gifts for 2008Erik Deckers
Laughing Stalk Syndicate
Copyright 2008

Internet stupid heads and online store,, have released their list of the 10 worst presents to give someone this year, and it looks like a good one. These guys have created an online empire of stupid, tasteless, or just plain gross gifts, and they're probably rich as a result. So if anyone knows stupid gifts, it's these guys.

They sell the stuff people give as a gag gift. Stuff that Jeff Foxworthy mentions right after the words, "You might be a redneck, if. . ." Here are a few of the items that made their list.

Pole Dancer Alarm Clock – For the strip club aficionado in your life. The alarm sounds, the little blond dancer gyrates around the dance pole while disco lights flash, and she pretends to like you for as long as you have money. Future models will include a "tuck a buck" snooze button and a bouncer to throw you out of bed if you stay too long.

2009 Dog Poop Cale…

Massage Neglect Syndrome: The Bane of Humor Columnists Everywhere

I suffer from Massage Neglect Syndrome.

At least that's what my chiropractor, Dr. Jared Himsel, says. I mention his name, because he's a doctor, and if a doctor says it, it must be true. Jared has been working on my neck for the last couple of weeks, and has been having trouble getting it to adjust.

"Jeez, your neck is really tight today," he said a couple of days ago.

"You could write a prescription for a massage that I can give to Toni.," I said. Toni is my wife.

"That's a good idea," he said, and grabbed a special form called a Letter of Medical Necessity. He wrote out that I had Massage Neglect Syndrome, which resulted in a stiff and sore neck.

"Requires one 30 minute neck massage each day for a week from his wife," said the form. I showed it to said wife when I got home.

"Yeah, right" she said, unsympathetically. "Looks like you're going to have neck problems."

"But you have to. It's on a Medical Necess…

Did they 'blah blah' fundraising? You can't 'blah blah' fundraising.

Imagine receiving this fundraising letter from your alma mater:

With the recent economic downturn and loan crisis, it has become even more important for Framingham State College to receive your support. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's the letter the Framingham Alumni Association sent out to thousands of their recent graduates this past September. A letter that has since become known as the "blah blah" letter.

What did the alums of the small Massachusetts college do? Did they pony up? Did they recognize the humorous send up of traditional college fundraising letters?

No, they stamped their little feet and said they were offended because the school insulted their intelligence, was unprofessional, and absurd and ridiculous.

They blah blahed fundraising? You can't blah blah fundraising! (Or is that yada yada?)

Steve Whittemore, current president of the college student government association, told the MetroWest Daily News the school wasn't wrong in its crea…

Rhonda Key, Riverview Gardens, Gives Worst Interview Ever

From the Worst PR Ever files:

Rhonda Key, co-superintendent, Riverview Gardens school district in St. Louis needs to take some lessons in public relations. She agreed to be interviewed by Elliott Davis of KTVI, the St. Louis, Missouri Fox affiliate. But once Davis showed up, that's where the interview went downhill.

KTVI had received a viewer email tip that Riverview Gardens had spent thousands of dollars to send several teachers and administrators to the Association of Supervision and Curriculum Development Conference in Los Angeles, California, which includes Goldie Hawn as part of the 2009 conference. So Davis wanted to find out who went and how much it cost.

I’d love to be able to embed the video here, but you’ll have to go to the KTVI website to see the just plain painful interview with Rhonda Key.

Davis, to Key, “What administrators are going on this trip?”

Kay: “Sir, a group of teachers are going on this trip.”

Davis, “But what administrators are going?”

Kay: “A group of teachers …

Scottish Cops Learn Difference Between Pot, Tomato Plants

Scottish police apparently can’t tell the difference between tomato plants and pot plants. Which is why they conducted a full-scale raid on 79-year-old Lulu Matheson’s house in Sieldaig, Scotland.

It took three squad cars, seven officers and drug dogs several hours of ransacking her house to conclude that the plants they saw in the window – the ones with red, apple-sized balls hanging from them – were not tomatoes after all.

To make sure, they sent it off to the lab for testing.

During the raid, they kept Lulu’s son Gus locked in his room for two hours, and handcuffed her grandson Stephen.

"I got a terrible fright and I couldn't understand what they were doing here because I knew we had nothing more than tomatoes in the window. I don't know what the neighbours must be thinking,” Lulu told the Times of London.

“It was a terrible carry-on,” Gus said. “The police didn’t even apologise.”

Needless to say, Gus will make a formal complaint.Meanwhile, I hope the police will take some b…

Boob Job Piggy Bank Makes a Great Gift Idea. . . If You're an Idiot

A recent post in Contexts magazine reveals one of the signs of the Apocalypse: A boob job money jar you can purchase on a website. For girls.

That's right. You can teach your young daughters fiscal responsibility and artificial self-esteem by getting them this money jar.

Or if you're not comfortable with this as a gift for your daughter, get it for one of your female coworkers. Have a good chuckle at the look on her face when she opens her gift. Enjoy a good laugh just before she slaps your face. Have a hearty guffaw as you're fired and hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit.

If you're not convinced the site is aimed toward girls -- and not a gag gift website -- check out this image from the front page.

("Hot Science Teacher?!" Yeah, right.)

Frankly, this is a horrible gift for a young girl, whether it's given in irony or she chose it. Some of the comments on the Contexts page said this was more of an ironic/gag gift, rather than a serious one. Even if this won…

Monty Python Channel Now on YouTube

Monty Python fans rejoice! The creators of the Dead Parrot sketch, the Lunberjack sketch, and the Cheese Shop Sketch now have their very own channel on YouTube.

No longer will you have to watch entire episodes on DVD just to get to the best bits. No more sitting through How to Defend Yourself From Fresh Fruit just to see Lemming of the BDA. No more "The Larch" just to find Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge. And definitely no more searching for Python sketches online, and then scrolling through countless sucky spoofs, parodies, and send-ups of your favorite sketches trying to find that one gem.

Instead, just go to, search for Monty Python, and you'll be taken immediately to their channel where you can enjoy Argument Clinic to your hearts content.

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