Skip to main content

International Stupidest Criminals of 2008

It's heartening to see that the United Stated is not the only country that suffers from stupid criminals, like the three separate morons who attacked their girlfriends with a sandwich.

Thanks to a recent story in New Zealand's Stuff news website, we can learn about other stupid criminals from other parts of the world.

Like German tourist Jan Philip Scharbert who sprayed graffiti on the Franz Josef Glacier. Some English tourists videotaped Scharberts schtupidity and he was ordered to clean up the graffiti. It took him a day and a half, but he was able to avoid any charges because authorities were pleased with his efforts.

Like Hayden Tibbotts from Christchurch, who was arrested for drunk driving after his 1988 Ford Laser got stuck in the sand at Waikuku Beach.

But Tibbotts said he hadn't been drunk when he was driving. Instead, they got drunk to "celebrate" the car getting sucked into the ocean.

Tibbotts said they left the car as the waves got bigger, and called the police for help. Then they cracked open a few cold ones and watched "the waves smash into the car."

"We had been there four or five hours," Tibbotts said. "We thought we may as well have a drink to celebrate the sinking of the ship.

"We weren't doing anything stupid, it doesn't sound right that I'd ring the cops if I was drunk driving."

If you weren't doing anything stupid, you wouldn't have been driving a freaking car on the wet beach to begin with. And if you weren't drinking and driving, where'd you get the beer in the first place?

Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.


Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide


Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…