Showing posts from February, 2016

Open Letter to CEO Costs Millennial Her Job

Millennials have been maligned in the news and workplace as being self-entitled spoiled brats who don't quite understand what it means to do things for themselves, thanks to the helicopter parents who hover nervously over their children, and their counterparts, the snowplow parents who clear the way for their precious snowflakes.

Of course, Millennials have their own justified complaints about the state of the world, such as the high cost of college and the lack of decent employment when they're finished. They believe they've been lied to: that going to college would lead to a better job and better life. It gets worse when they go to work for a company where they're poorly compensated while the CEO makes several million dollars, plus bonuses.

(It doesn't help that many of them majored in English and Theatre, and then are shocked that companies don't have jobs for poets and actors.)

One Millennial in particular made the news earlier this month when she published…

Kanye Asks Tech Billionaires For Bailout

Poor Kanye West.

No, seriously, poor Kanye West. As in Kanye West is poor.

$53 million poor.

The self-proclaimed music legend took to Twitter last week to bemoan his sad fate, saying he's "$53 million in personal debt."

Kanye's debt is roughly $15 million greater than the GDP of Tuvalu, the country with the smallest GDP in the world. Tuvalu would have to work for 1.4 years to pay off Kanye's debt.

So he asked a few tech billionaires if they would like to invest in him and his ideas "after realizing he is the greatest living artist and greatest artist of all time."

Your ideas can't be that great if you've made boneheaded financial decisions, like renting out AT&T Baseball Park in San Francisco and hiring the Chicago Symphony Orchestra so you can propose to your equally wealthy girlfriend.

"Mark Zuckerberg invest 1 billion dollars into Kanye West ideas," he tweeted. Other messages then followed, "Mark Zuckerberg I know it’s your …

What About Saying Cootchie Cootchie Coo?

Erik is out of the office this week, so we are reprinting a column from 2005.

While most new parents are eager to show off their new baby, and positively beam when people coo at and marvel over their newest family member, one hospital in Halifax, Scotland is putting a stop to all that.

According to an October 2005 story in The (Edinburgh) Scotsman, the Calderale Royal Hospital has instituted a ban on looking at, asking about, or even cooing to newborn babies in the maternity wards, to prevent visitors from ". . . gawping at newborns or questioning the mother."

Debbie Lawson, a neonatal manager, said that even babies have a right to privacy. "We need to respect the child," she told The Scotsman, presumably looking straight at the reporter interviewing her. "Cooing should be a thing of the past, because these are little people with the same rights as you or me."

Of course, Lawson and her fellow anti-cooing activists don't seem to have a problem being lo…

A Dude and a Bro Walk Into a Bar

When did I become a "bro?"

Not a brother, a "bro." As in, when I walk into my favorite local taco place, and they ask, "s'up, Bro?"

I look around. Did someone walk in after I did? Is there a frat boy with a backwards baseball cap and sunglasses pushed up on his forehead behind me? A hipster wearing skinny jeans and a flannel shirt in 90 degree weather?

Nope, it's me. I'm the only one there.

I'm the "bro."

And this guy, who's also wearing a backwards baseball cap and sunglasses on his forehead, is talking to me.

"So you want some tacos, Bro?"

I hate being called "bro."

It's awkward and overly familiar, like me and my new bud should be gym posing with other frat boys, proudly displaying our puka shell necklaces and tribal tattoos. And now this guy thinks we're bros, and should address each other as such.

Except I will not.

"Whattya want on your tacos, Bro? Steak or chicken, Bro? Bro, steak or chi…