Gen Z doesn’t like the way we send them text messages. Of course, they tend not to like much of anything we do, so does it really matter what they think about this?
"We" is anyone not in Generation Z. It doesn’t matter how old you are or which Generation you’re in—X, Boomers, Millennials — Gen Z is very precious about what we send to them, and they get triggered at these little rule breaches because they think we’re mad at them or that we don’t like them. Of course, we tend not to like anything they do, so does it really matter?
For example, we’re not supposed to send the thumbs-up emoji to a Zoomer because that’s mean and aggressive. Apparently, to Gen Z, this symbol of affirmative positivity is a snotty way of saying, "Good going, moron!"
Even though the rest of the world understands it to mean "Understood" or "right on," Gen Z must have a guilty conscience about something because they think we mean it to be insulting — even more insulting than the middle finger emoji.
Also, we’re also not supposed to put a period at the end of a text, especially if it’s the end of a single word.
"OK."
"No."
That’s considered rude. It’s abrupt, curt, and dismissive. The generation that loves to say "'No' is a complete sentence" hates it when you actually punctuate that sentence.
Look, I don’t know what to tell you people. Gen X is the feral punk rock kid generation, and we did some pretty crazy stuff when we were teenagers. We pushed the envelope, we disrupted thinking patterns, and we wreaked havoc with our ideas and practices. And now, the original punk rock kids are wreaking moral panic, rocking your world, and causing your brains to explode!
With punctuation.
Even in our 50s, we're still pretty punk rock.
So non-Zoomers might be tempted to use "lol" at the end of your texts to soften them.
"That’s so funny lol."
"I’m really hungry lol."
"Can you believe how stupid this is lol?"
Except Zoomers are tired of "lol." And the generation responsible for all these lols? Millennials. Or as Gen Z calls them, "Buncha crusty olds."
I’m with the Zoomers on this one. I’m tired of the abbreviation for "laugh out loud" as a part of texting culture. Putting lol at the ends of texts is stupid and overdone, and if no one ever does it again, it won’t be soon enough.
I have Millennial friends who put "lol" in their texts so many times, you’d think they’re getting paid by the word.
"I can’t remember lol are we still meeting today lol I swear I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on lol see you in 30 minutes lol"
This is a message I received from a friend once. I had to text her back to see if she was having a stroke.
"No lol why would you think that lol"
Why would I think that? Because you sound like a half-wit who forgot that the end of a sentence isn’t a three-letter abbreviation!
I knew for a fact that this friend was not laughing out loud, despite what her repeated lols might have suggested. Nothing she said was even remotely funny. It didn’t elicit a chuckle, a chortle, a snicker, or a guffaw. So why would anyone laugh out loud at the thought that driving to a coffee shop was going to take her 30 minutes? I knew she certainly wasn’t actually laughing about anything, unless the stroke was making her laugh at inappropriate moments. So, why did she keep saying it?
The thing I hate most about this is that I have to learn texting etiquette from people who text words that sound like nonsense: "iykyk," "fr," "sus," "no cap," and "fr" are some phrases I’ve had fired across my phone.
The first one is easy: If you know, you know; "fr" is "for real." "Sus" means suspect or suspicious. "No cap" means I left my favorite headgear at home. Just kidding; it means "genuinely, truthfully," as in "You can’t stop me from using the thumbs-up emojis, no cap."
But you can see why I’m irritated, can’t you?
Why should I have to learn text etiquette from people who are afraid of positive hand gestures and proper punctuation? How am I the one out of touch because I believe in proper punctuation and still believe in the universal salute for cool?
Look, I’ve lived a long time; I’m a professor of communications; I’ve written almost two million words in my career; and I’m learning my third language. Who are these Zoomers to tell me how to communicate or not?
This whole thing is sus. No cap.
Photo credit: Cheerfully_lost (Pixabay, Creative Commons 0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.