Can someone please help the young men of America? They stink.
That is, they stink on purpose.
It seems that on some corners of the Internet, particularly the manosphere, so-called influencers are promoting the mistaken belief that men can increase pheromone production in order to attract a mate.
More accurately, if they stop showering and cleaning themselves, they can produce more pheromones, thus attracting more mates.
In other words, if they don't shower so much, they will be up to their eyeballs in sex partners.
This is part of the so-called "maxxing" trend, where followers believe that they can greatly improve their odds of finding a mate by increasing – "maxxing" – a particular aspect of their appearance. The ultimate goal is to increase their attractiveness and health, although there is no scientific basis for this crock of BS.
Both groups of students had also undergone some gene testing, and each female student received three shirts that had been worn by men whose immune system genes were compatible with her own.
In general, the women positively rated the T-shirts of the men who had similar genes to themselves. The interpretation of the results was that women could smell men who were "immune system compatible" with them, and supposedly, that made those men more attractive to the women. However, the study does not state whether any of the pairs hooked up.
As typically happens when someone has a misguided agenda and does not understand scientific data, the results were misinterpreted to mean that if you did not shower, especially before a date, they would be more likely to have a positive attraction to you.
Like in old cartoons where someone would put a pie on a windowsill to cool, and the steam from the pie would make another character fall into a trance and float toward the source in search of that delicious smell. I can just imagine that this is what most of these stinky men are hoping will happen with their dates: they’ll be attracted by the pheromones, represented by smell tendrils of smell and stink lines around them, and their date will just float on after them in a hypnotic state, desperately seeking the source of that wonderful stench.
The biggest problem with this idea is that we humans are not one of those species that can smell pheromones. For a pheromone to actually work, there has to be something that can smell it, and we just don't have the necessary biological equipment. We can’t smell pheromones of any kind.
Mice can do it; cats can do it; and pigs can do it; even silk moths can do it. But humans? No way, no how. Sure, we may put out pheromones when we sweat, but the only thing I have ever had be attracted by my pheromones were mosquitoes. And I don't want more of those.
We need something called the vomeronasal organ, which is a small structure in the noses of certain mammals and insects. Humans don't have that organ. That means people just can't smell pheromones, no matter how stinky you are.
so, guys, quit listening to Internet science. Just because one person found and twisted a single scientific study to fit their own agenda does not mean you need to stop bathing. You should still wash yourself, especially your undercarriage and armpits, on a daily basis. Nobody wants to smell that. Despite what the stinkfluencers are telling you, being smelly does not attract sexual partners.
Just go back to dousing yourself with body spray. It already smelled bad, and it was enough of a deterrent for people wanting to date you in the first place. If you truly wanted to repel people, nothing says stay away from me like a good dousing from drug-storebody spray. At least, if you wore that, we knew you were trying to make an attempt. Now, if you stop bathing, people just assume that you have given up and have no self-respect. So get back in the shower, give yourself a good scrubbing, and make sure you get your pits and bits. Nobody wants to smell that.
Especially a potential mate.
Photo credit: LeniG (Pixabay, Creative Commons 0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.