It’s said that when a man reaches his 60s, he will immerse himself in the study of World War II or the making of smoked meat. While I’m shuffling closer to that age myself, I don’t want to do either of those things, although I wouldn’t say no to any geezers who want to share their bacon.
Still, everyone should have some sort of hobby and a group of people to share it with. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what your hobby is, it’s always more enjoyable when you have someone you can ramble to for hours about it.
I already have mine: woodworking, reading, and shouting grammar corrections at TV newspeople, but I might be able to make room for one more.
I was intrigued to learn about the existence of the Dull Men’s Club. Not excited, mind you, only mildly curious. What sort of club is this? (Virtual.) Is it international? (Yes.) Are there dues? (No.) Do they have meetings? (No, thank God.) When was it founded? (1997.) Does it have a Facebook group or Instagram page? (Yes and yes.)
I worry that the Facebook group may cause a little bit of excitement. You see, there are two groups: There’s the Dull Men’s Club and then there’s the Dull Men’s Club®, which is the official Dull Men’s Club.
Note the registered trademark symbol. That’s so people know you’re officially dull.
The purpose of the Dull Men’s Club is for people to have (only a little) fun discussing their own quirky hobbies, obscure interests, and exploring the boring, mundane, and everyday.
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| The Dull Husband by Thomas Rowlandson |
Members of the official group are called Dullsters, not dullards, which is considered an insult. Like "hipsters," only without the craft bourbon obsession and the man bun.
I was able to join the non-® Facebook group very easily; I just clicked the Join Group, and within seconds, I was admitted. The DMC® approved my membership several minutes later, so if there was a race to approve me, the non-® group won. Understandably, there was no celebration.
I only hope they don’t find those pictures of me at Disney World seven years ago. That could kill my membership in both groups.
I probably shouldn’t have brought that up.
My kids were surprised that I joined either group, because to hear them tell it, I’ve been a lifelong member already.
As far as I can tell, the Dull Men’s Club and the Dull Men’s Club® are not affiliated in any way, which makes me wonder if there was ever a bit of a tiff between the two groups. I hope not, because that would be rather interesting.
According to the DMC®’s website, which is made with two different shades of gray, the Club® is "a place for dull men and women who like to be with dull men to feel at home, to be comfortable, free from pressure to be in-and-trendy."
That’s great for me. I have never felt the pressure to be in-and-trendy. Even in high school, I resisted that and am proud to say that I have never been accused of being in-and-trendy in my life.
Both Facebook groups are committed to maintaining a standard of dullness, finding great interest in things that most people don’t.
For example, on the non-® group, a Dullster from Canada, Bryan, posted a photo of a bottle of propane that his grandfather had purchased from Canadian Tire (Canada’s Walmart) in 1978. He said it was completely odorless, and he wondered whether the bottle predated the inclusion of mercaptan, the element that makes natural gas stink, and whether it could decay.
The answer is that mercaptan began being added to natural gas in 1937, and that yes, it can decay over time.
I know this because I looked it up, which is what Dullsters do. And as a new member of the Dull Men’s Club®, I figured I’d better start pulling my weight.
Other discussions included one woman who accidentally wore one of her shoes and one of her husband’s shoes to work; the narrowness of one bathroom stall compared to all the others; how people draw an exclamation point; and a poll about where you start brushing your teeth (non-dominant hand side, top because I’m not a monster).
The Dull Men’s Club may sound boring, but it’s actually the chance to be curious about the teeny-tiny details most people never even think of.
Cool things like the number of stitches on a baseball (216), dimples on a golf ball (336), number of people who choke on a ballpoint pen each year (100), cans of Spam consumed each second (3.6), or acres of pizza Americans eat each day (100).
I’m especially excited to learn how that exclamation point discussion goes.
But not too excited. I’d hate to get kicked out of the group.
Photo credit: Print by Thomas Rowlandson, 1789 (Wikimedia Commons, Creative Commons 0, Public Domain)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.