Skip to main content

The OFFICIAL Results of the Indianapolis 500

I released the unofficial results of the Indianapolis 500 a little while ago, but I now have the official results, delivered fresh from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway Media Center. The official results are as follows, with laps completed, and their status as running or reason for going out:


1 -  Dan Wheldon - 200 - Running

2 -  JR Hildebrand - 200 - Running

3 -  Graham Rahal - 200 - Running


4 -  Tony Kanaan - 200 - Running

5 -  Scott Dixon - 200 - Running (Dixon moved up from 6th)

6 -  Oriol Servia - 200 - Running (Servia dropped from 5th)


7 -  Bertrand Baguette - 200 - Running

8 -  Tomas Scheckter - 200 - Running

9 -  Marco Andretti - 200 - Running


10 -  Danica Patrick - 200 - Running

11 -  Ed Carpenter - 200 - Running

12 -  Dario Franchitti - 200 - Running


13 -  Charlie Kimball - 199 - Running

14 -  Will Power - 199 - Running

15 -  Vitor Meira - 199 - Running


16 -  Justin Wilson - 199 - Running

17 -  Helio Castroneves - 199 - Running

18 -  Buddy Rice - 198 - Running


19 -  Alex Lloyd - 198 - Running

20 -  Pippa Mann - 198 - Running

21 -  Ana Beatriz - 197 - Running


22 -  John Andretti - 197 - Running

23 -  Ryan Hunter-Reay - 197 - Running

24 -  Davey Hamilton - 193 - Running


25 -  Paul Tracy - 175 - Running

26 -  Townsend Bell - 157 - Contact

27 -  Ryan Briscoe - 157 - Contact


28 -  Alex Tagliani - 147 - Contact

29 -  James Hinchcliffe - 99 - Contact

30 -  Jay Howard - 60 - Contact


31 -  Simona de Silvestro - 44 - Handling 

32 -  EJ Viso - 27 - Contact

33 -  Takuma Sato - 20 - Contact

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide

TFBIHCAEEPTSD.

Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…