6:00 AM: (Alarm goes off.) Awww! Just five more minutes, Mom.
6:05 AM: (Second alarm goes off.) Who gets up this early? This is terrible. Whose stupid idea was this?
6:10 AM: (Third alarm goes off.) Oh yeah, it was mine. I did this. I have to leave early for this stupid road trip, and I've got to go 800 miles in 14 hours. This was a stupid idea.
6:12 AM: Take a shower, brush my teeth, and finish packing without waking anyone up.
6:20 AM: TUMBLE OUT OF BED AND STUMBLE TO THE KITCHEN! POUR MYSELF A CUP OF AMBITION, YAWN AND STRETCH AND TRY TO COME TO LIFE!
6:21 AM: Oops, sorry. No, go back to sleep. I just sing silly songs to stay awake.
6:45 AM: Finally. I don't want to get stuck in rush hour traffic.
7:01 AM: Don't forget the coffee. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
7:20 AM: I should have left a little earlier. Still, traffic's not too bad, and I made it relatively unscathed. This is a good reminder why I work from home though. It's like a jungle out here. A jungle filled with aggressive jerks and a-holes who need to learn a little courtes—HEY, UP YOURS TOO, BUDDY!
8:19 AM: I almost forgot, it’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so it's a good thing I'm in the car-r-r-r.
9:13 AM: Stop for breakfast and some coffee. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
9:15 AM: The barista laughed at my Pirate Day joke. This is going to be a good day.
9:16 AM: This is boring. I’m bored. Why did I agree to do this?
9:17 AM: If I were a Peter Jackson movie, I'd be Bored Of The Rings.
10:30 AM: Stop for second breakfast. I think those hobbits were onto something. I hope I have enough room for Elevenses.
11:28 AM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
11:48 AM: Watch your speed there, Casey Jones. You can’t afford a ticket.
1:15 PM: OOH EE OOH AH AH, TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!
1:18 PM: So-o-o-o-o bored!
1:19 PM: If I were a Michael Flatley show, I'd be Bored Of The Dance.
2:07 PM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
2:08 PM: I'll skip lunch; too full from Elevenses. Maybe just a nice bag of Gummi Bears to tide me over.
2:16 PM: Even the Gummi Bears are boring!
2:17 PM: This week on "Santa Bear-bara," Lemon catches Raspberry and Orange in the sack, and he's Green with envy!
2:23 PM: This week on "The Bold and the Bear-tiful," George catches Olive and Lionel in the sack, and he sees Red!
2:28 PM: This week on "Grizzly Hospital," Rio catches his evil twin, Grayson in the sack with Pi Napple, and he's — eww, those don't taste good together.
2:47 PM: OH, I WOULD DRIVE 500 MILES, AND I WOULD DRIVE 500 MORE, BECAUSE I'M THE IDIOT WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!
2:49 PM: Watch your speed there, Casey Jones. You can’t afford a second ticket.
3:15PM: Why is this so damn boring?! The problem with taking road trips by myself is there's no one to talk to.
3:16 PM: You’re right, Other Erik. It's nice to have someone to talk to.
3:16 PM: Thank you. Gummi bear?
3:16 PM: Ooh, don't mind if I do.
3:35 PM: My tummy doesn't feel so good. I shouldn't have eaten all those Gummi Bears.
3:36 PM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
3:57 PM: I'm sick to death of podcasts. Lord, deliver me from this boredom.
3:58 PM: If I were a quirky Peter Sellers movie from the 1950s, I'd be The Mouse That Bored.
4:18 PM: O-O-O-O-O-OKLAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPIN' DOWN THE PLAIN!
5:30 PM: I think I've had too much coffee. My lips feel all tingly.
6:12 PM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without — why am I so sweaty?
8:07 PM: Made it! 800 miles in 14 hours!
11:30 PM: Weird, I'm not sleepy. Why can't I fall asleep?
11:48 PM: DON'T CRY FOR ME, ARGENTINA. THE TRUTH IS I NEVER LEFT YOU.
Photo credit: SauerArt (Pixabay.com, Creative Commons 0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available on Amazon. You can get the Kindle version here or the paperback version here.
6:05 AM: (Second alarm goes off.) Who gets up this early? This is terrible. Whose stupid idea was this?
6:10 AM: (Third alarm goes off.) Oh yeah, it was mine. I did this. I have to leave early for this stupid road trip, and I've got to go 800 miles in 14 hours. This was a stupid idea.
6:12 AM: Take a shower, brush my teeth, and finish packing without waking anyone up.
6:20 AM: TUMBLE OUT OF BED AND STUMBLE TO THE KITCHEN! POUR MYSELF A CUP OF AMBITION, YAWN AND STRETCH AND TRY TO COME TO LIFE!
6:21 AM: Oops, sorry. No, go back to sleep. I just sing silly songs to stay awake.
6:45 AM: Finally. I don't want to get stuck in rush hour traffic.
7:01 AM: Don't forget the coffee. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
7:20 AM: I should have left a little earlier. Still, traffic's not too bad, and I made it relatively unscathed. This is a good reminder why I work from home though. It's like a jungle out here. A jungle filled with aggressive jerks and a-holes who need to learn a little courtes—HEY, UP YOURS TOO, BUDDY!
8:19 AM: I almost forgot, it’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so it's a good thing I'm in the car-r-r-r.
9:13 AM: Stop for breakfast and some coffee. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
9:15 AM: The barista laughed at my Pirate Day joke. This is going to be a good day.
9:17 AM: If I were a Peter Jackson movie, I'd be Bored Of The Rings.
10:30 AM: Stop for second breakfast. I think those hobbits were onto something. I hope I have enough room for Elevenses.
11:28 AM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
11:48 AM: Watch your speed there, Casey Jones. You can’t afford a ticket.
1:15 PM: OOH EE OOH AH AH, TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!
1:18 PM: So-o-o-o-o bored!
1:19 PM: If I were a Michael Flatley show, I'd be Bored Of The Dance.
2:07 PM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
2:08 PM: I'll skip lunch; too full from Elevenses. Maybe just a nice bag of Gummi Bears to tide me over.
2:16 PM: Even the Gummi Bears are boring!
2:17 PM: This week on "Santa Bear-bara," Lemon catches Raspberry and Orange in the sack, and he's Green with envy!
2:23 PM: This week on "The Bold and the Bear-tiful," George catches Olive and Lionel in the sack, and he sees Red!
2:28 PM: This week on "Grizzly Hospital," Rio catches his evil twin, Grayson in the sack with Pi Napple, and he's — eww, those don't taste good together.
2:47 PM: OH, I WOULD DRIVE 500 MILES, AND I WOULD DRIVE 500 MORE, BECAUSE I'M THE IDIOT WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!
2:49 PM: Watch your speed there, Casey Jones. You can’t afford a second ticket.
3:15PM: Why is this so damn boring?! The problem with taking road trips by myself is there's no one to talk to.
3:16 PM: You’re right, Other Erik. It's nice to have someone to talk to.
3:16 PM: Thank you. Gummi bear?
3:16 PM: Ooh, don't mind if I do.
3:35 PM: My tummy doesn't feel so good. I shouldn't have eaten all those Gummi Bears.
3:36 PM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without coffee.
3:57 PM: I'm sick to death of podcasts. Lord, deliver me from this boredom.
3:58 PM: If I were a quirky Peter Sellers movie from the 1950s, I'd be The Mouse That Bored.
4:18 PM: O-O-O-O-O-OKLAHOMA, WHERE THE WIND COMES SWEEPIN' DOWN THE PLAIN!
5:30 PM: I think I've had too much coffee. My lips feel all tingly.
6:12 PM: Potty break and a coffee break. Can't take a road trip without — why am I so sweaty?
8:07 PM: Made it! 800 miles in 14 hours!
11:30 PM: Weird, I'm not sleepy. Why can't I fall asleep?
11:48 PM: DON'T CRY FOR ME, ARGENTINA. THE TRUTH IS I NEVER LEFT YOU.
Photo credit: SauerArt (Pixabay.com, Creative Commons 0)
