It’s that time of year again, when Lake Superior State University slams its fist on the language table and says, "The line must be drawn here! This far, no further!"
Every year, LSSU receives recommendations from people about words they would like to banish, eradicating them from the English language, never to be uttered by a single human being ever again. This year, the program received more than 1,400 submissions from all 50 states, as well as Brazil, the UK, Japan, Uzbekistan, and many more.
This is also a momentous occasion, as LSSU is celebrating their golden anniversary with the 50th annual List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English because of Misuse, Overuse, or General Uselessness. This is also my 21st year covering LSSU’s list for my column, also known as the brass anniversary.
Which means that if LSSU’s Lists can join AARP, my column is finally old enough to drink to the occasion.
This year, the list starts with the lowest-of-low-hanging fruit, and I couldn’t be happier. They want to get rid of "6-7," that annoying, nonsensical phrase that kids chant mindlessly if you commit the unpardonable sin of saying "six" or "seven" around them.
My 23-year-old son says this to me on occasion because he knows it annoys me. So I say "5309" back in response because it annoys him. That’s just good parenting.
I mentioned that on social media once, and a young Millennial told me, "Actually, the song is called '867-5309!'" I replied with The Chronicles of Narnia’s classic line, "Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch! I was there when it was written."
I felt bad later, because it sounded rather boastful, and I’m trying to be more "demure."
Except LSSU, very loudly and proudly, axed "demure," thank the Lord. The word means shy, reserved, and modest, and it came back into vogue after a TikTok influencer began using it as she made makeup tutorials, saying, "so demure, so mindful," although she was really neither.
The problem is it’s a 14th-century Anglo-French word, which means LSSU is going to have a hard time unseating it. Maybe we can "incentivize" people to stop using it.
Except "incentivize" made the 2026 list, with two separate submissions calling the word "nails on a chalkboard."
Make that three, because I absolutely hate it and wanted to banish it the first time I heard it. It’s a stupid business jargon word that means "motivate,""convince," or "ask nicely." And I’ve tried asking people nicely to stop, but nothing seems to work.
Getting people to stop using words, even words that cause emotional and mental harm, is such a "massive" undertaking, except you guessed it: we can’t say "massive" now. It was probably nominated by pedants who hate the word "awesome," too.
I think this is a terrible choice, because massive is an excellent word. It means "large, heavy, or solid," and can be used to refer to things like walls, stones, or crowds. And despite what one submitter said, the word is not "Way overused (often incorrectly)."
But how is it being used wrong? Are we using it to refer to puppies now? "Man, that’s a massive puppy! He’s sooooo cute!"
"Yeah, man, massively cute!"
No, if anything is incorrectly overused, it’s your use of "way." Why aren’t we putting "way" on trial? I’ve been annoyed with the overuse of "way" since the Great "No Way! Way!" Wars of the early 1990s. It’s been nearly 26 years, guys. Can’t we just call that one "cooked?"
Except LSSU stuck a fork in "cooked" because it’s done.
They said parents and guardians led the charge on this one, because they apparently feel it’s overdone, and they would like to see it become a lot more rare. There’s a lot at stake here.
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| The perfect rose |
Mostly because "perfect" got the chop, again, because it’s "not being used correctly."
(I said that in a real nasally, mocking voice.)
At least that’s what Jo H. from California thinks. "There are very few instances where the word actually applies." Char S. from Ohio echoed, "How do they know it’s perfect? What does that mean?"
It means that a bunch of persnickety Pecksniffians are grumbling about a word that probably means something different than what it did when they were in elementary school a hundred years ago.
Leave perfect alone! It’s just fine the way it is, ten out of ten, no notes.
If you have any comments or concerns about this year’s Banished List of Words, you should "reach out" to LSSU and "gift" them your idea about why your word should be added to 2027’s list, but nothing else. No editorializing or funny jokes. Just word and explanation, "full stop."
Except those three words — reach out, gift, and full stop — are also nixed and should be eliminated from your vocabulary. Which means I probably shouldn’t have used them in such a cavalier manner.
"My bad."
Photo credit: PXHere.com (Creative Commons 0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.