It’s the end of May, which means it’s time for the 101st running of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, which comes on the heels of the 110th running of the Indianapolis 500. And unlike the 500, none of the kids actually crashed during the Bee.
It’s also the time for Unscramblerer.com to release its list of the most misspelled words in each state. They compiled the list by analyzing Google Trends data for searches that include the phrase "How do you spell" or "How to spell" plus the word. They compiled words for the U.S. as a whole and a state-by-state breakdown. This year, they mean "business."
Except that word caused problems for Alabama, Mississippi, Maryland, and Wisconsin. It was Delaware’s problem word last year, which was rather funny, considering the number of large companies that are incorporated there.
Why is it a problem for these states? I don’t know. I guess, just "because."
Except that Indiana, Missouri, New Jersey, and Ohio can’t spell that word.
This would go "quite" a way in explaining "which" states can’t spell simple words, especially since South Carolina can’t spell "quite" and Michigan can’t spell "which." So what’s the deal?
Personally, I think it’s an educational problem. We keep spending less on education, and it shows. It gets worse when you consider Florida can’t spell "school," and Nevada can’t spell "teacher." Last year, Nevada couldn’t spell "school," so things are not looking up for the Silver State: according to WalletHub, they rank #46 in educational attainment.
New Hampshire and Rhode Island can’t spell "bougie," which people started using because they couldn’t spell "bourgeois," which is French for "Why is this 'r' in here?"
"Bougie" was actually the most commonly misspelled word for the entire country, so it’s good to see two of the smaller states leading the country for a change. The national list also included "favorite," "through," "business," and "tomorrow," in that order.
Meanwhile, Georgia, Oklahoma, and Wyoming can’t spell Chihuahua, which I’m only able to spell because I remember Les Nesman (of "WKRP") pronouncing it as chee-who-uh-who-uh.
Summer is a time for weddings, so if you’re getting married in the next few months, I’d like to say "Congratulations." But Nebraska and South Dakota can’t, because that’s their spelling stumper.
Except things are not looking good for other states on the relationship front. Tennessee and Arizona can’t spell "through," which is going to make their breakup texts awkward. "What do u mean, 'we r threw'?"
Washington’s wedding plans are on hold because they can’t spell "fiance," and Oregon can’t even propose because they can’t spell "diamond." Plus, Kansas and Massachusetts will show up late because they can’t spell "schedule."
Otherwise, everyone else is planning on a beautiful wedding, except for Alaska, Arkansas, Delaware, Vermont, and West Virginia, who can’t spell "beautiful." I find Vermont’s difficult word to be more realistic this year, because last year they claimed they couldn’t spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." How do you go from not being able to spell that word one year to not being able to spell "beautiful" the next? I think Vermont cheated last year, but couldn’t be bothered this year.
North Carolina and Virginia are going hungry because they can’t spell "spaghetti." Well, of course not! Not if you spell it like that. Everyone knows it’s "psketti."
No "judgment," of course. Except in New York, which can’t spell it. Not that I’m casting aspersions on them, because that’s a word I struggled to spell well into my 30s.
I would like to point out that British newspaper The Independent can’t spell it either, because they spelled it "judgement" (note the extra 'e'), so I have — oh, what’s the word? — formed an opinion about them that’s rooted in moral superiority.
North Dakota must be taking language lessons because they’re struggling with "adios." It’s a simple word, but I commend them for misspelling in a second language.
And now I’m envisioning a bunch of Norwegian bachelor farmers meeting up at the ag hall and asking, "¿Cómo están creciendo tus cultivos?" (How are your crops growing?)
Kentucky and Maine are no longer certain about anything because they can’t spell "definitely," Hawaii and Montana take things for granted because they can’t spell "appreciate," and Minnesota wants to start wearing grass skirts and coconut bras, except they can’t spell "ukulele."
California used to be cool and quirky, but now they’re just like everyone else because they can’t spell "different," New Mexico no longer means what they say because they can’t spell "sincerely," and Pennsylvania is broken because they can’t spell "maintenance."
The only way to reduce the number of spelling errors is to read more and stop using auto-correct on your phone. Spend more time actually writing words or typing them by hand.
It may not be "necessary," but it’s "basically" the best way to build "character" — especially for Idaho, Utah, and Iowa.
Photo credit: Noah1806 (Wikimedia Commons, Creative Commons 4.0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.