Top 10 Signs You Have or Don't Have a Man Bag
10. It's made from the finest Italian leather, lovingly treated so it doesn't chafe the tender areas under your arms.
9. When you get angry at a friend, you stamp your little feet and hit him with it.
8. It has separate clips for your keys, cell phone holster, and a coin purse.
7. It comes with a matching fanny pack.
6. The guys from "Queer Eye" roll their eyes and tell you to butch up.
4. Everyone thinks your wife asked you to carry her purse again.
3. It has extra roomy compartments to carry your dignity. And a small zipper pocket for your masculinity.
2. You can buy it at Abercrombie and Fitch, the Gap, and Limited Too.
1. It easily holds your cell phone, your PDA, and the first three seasons of "Sex and the City" on DVD.
Top 10 Signs Your bag is a Guy Bag/is not a Man Bag
10. It was made from a bear skin. With the bear still in it.
9. Ernest Hemingway was banned from the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, after he killed a bull with it.
8. It fires Patriot missiles out of the pen holder.
7. It came with a free set of Monster truck tires.
6. Rocky IV was originally about Rocky fighting your Bag. It had to be rewritten, because Rocky died after being punched one time.
5. When you meet Chuck Norris, he clenches his fists, narrows his eyes slightly, and whispers, "Nice bag."
4. It's the only other thing that can stop Superman.
3. Your bag was banned from the Canadian wilderness because they will dominate wolf packs and wreak havoc on nearby towns.
2. You didn't buy your Guy Bag. It was granted by the Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite.
1. It can hold a regulation size NFL football, a regulation NFL helmet, and Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis.