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I've trademarked "the"

Apparently you can trademark a color. Who knew?

According to a blog post at The Consumerist, Telecom giant T-mobile (no link love for you! Come back one year!) is demanding that technology blog Engadget stop using the color magenta in its logo.

Never mind that magenta is one of the four color building blocks of the print industry -- cyan, magenta, yellow, and black. Never mind that this is about as stupid as McDonald's trying to trademark the "Mc." You can't just go trademarking things that are more or less in the public domain, can you?

But then I began to think about how smart this is. Apparently T-Mobile thinks they have a leg to stand on. And in true entrepreneurial spirit, I wondered if I could use this little loophole to my advantage So I went online to the U.S. Patents and Trademark Office and was able to trademark the word "the" for just $499 using my credit card.

This means I can now receive payment from any and all publications that use my new word. Since this may be a somewhat popular word, my rates are as follows:
  • For publications and websites with daily circulation/visits over 100,000: $1 for every hundred uses, or $.01 per usage.
  • For publications and websites with daily circulation/visits under 100,000: $.50 for every hundred uses, or $.005 per usage.
  • Nonprofits, small businesses (employees fewer than 50), and personal usage are free.
Since the paperwork will take some time to process, these rates will not go into effect until June 1 of this year.


  1. This is hilarious!

    It was great having coffee. Thanks for all your work to support HH in its endevours.


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