Skip to main content

Since When Did Basketball Referees Get to Arrest People?

One of my big frustrations at the fairness of the universe is when stupid people get away with their stupidity, and don't have to face the consequences.

Of course, sometimes justice is served on a high school gymnasium floor.

Patrick Rempala, a 64-year-old Northwest Indiana man, threw a hissy fit at a high school basketball game, and got belligerent with referee Glen Fifeld. Rempala got into Fifield's face, and yelled "you suck!" He bumped Fifeld, pushed him when Fifeld tried to walk away, and then grabbed Fifeld's whistle lanyard and tried to choke him.

That's when things got interesting. Fifeld told Rempala he was under arrest for battery.

Because, you see, Fifeld is an Indiana state trooper. And if there's one thing you don't mess with in Indiana, it's a state trooper.

"You can't arrest me, you're a referee!" Rempala shrieked at Fifield.

Au contraire, my d-baggy friend. Refereein' is just his hobby; arresting jerkwads is his day job.

Fifeld wrestled the man to the floor, which I hope was all good and thunky. Once he realized Fifeld was, in fact, a cop, and he was now, in fact, an under-arrest-d-bag, Rempala whined, "That's not fair."

No, and neither is shoving a guy around because you don't like his refereeing. Because, in Rempala's defense, the other thing you don't mess with in Indiana is our basketball.

Rempala was arrested for battery and resisting arrest.

---
Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.

Comments

  1. This, THIS is a fine blog. I'm not just saying that because I love basketball and humor.

    Okay, I'm totally just saying that because I love basketball and humor. I'm glad this guy got what he deserved.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, Petie. I'm glad you liked it. I think he got what he deserved too. People can be pretty rude at times, so I always love it when there are consequences for their rudeness.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is funny.

    I thought these things only happen in Florida?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I am accepting comments from people with Google accounts to cut down on spam.
Otherwise, spam comments will be deleted with malicious glee.

Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide

TFBIHCAEEPTSD.

Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…