Brown University Wants to Cancel Columbus Day, Doesn't Want to Give Up 3 Day Weekend

Spoiled brats Students at Brown University don't want to celebrate Columbus Day because of its violent history. However, they still want the long weekend that Columbus Day originally gave them.

The faculty voted this past Tuesday that they only wanted to be "secret best friends" with their values. In other words, they didn't want to embrace Columbus Day's history, but they wanted to continue to get the long weekend that Columbus Day originally brought them.

Way to stand up for your values, Brown University.

If you truly believed in dissociating yourself from the Columbus Day history, you'd give up that long weekend, because of what the day represented, and how it was earned. Your long weekend was created on the blood and torture of indigienous people in Hispaniola. Put your money where your mouth is, and give up that extra day.

If you don't, we'll all know how much you really stand for your values.


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