Woman Complains About Neighbor's Naked Garden Gnomes

As a father, I want to protect my kids from certain things: drugs, violence, sex, even nudity in movies.

I'm not that concerned about naked garden gnomes. Other people, at least in England, seem to think about nothing but naked garden gnomes.

British grandmother Sandra Smith has been ordered by the Bromsgrove District Council (West Midlands) to cover up her naked garden gnomes after they received complaints that they were "upsetting local children."

Smith has had the gnomes – a male and female – in her front yard (they call it a "garden" in England) for 15 years, but it's only recently that an easily-offended neighbor has gotten her flannel panties in a bunch over the gnomes' nakedness.

Smith has been ordered to put clothes on the gnomes, so she draped t-shirts on the concrete ornaments.

"I've got grandchildren and they all love the gnomes," Smith told the (London) Daily Telegraph. "They're proper cheeky chappies with their little smiley faces looking up at you."

The whining neighbor confirmed to the Daily Telegraph that she was the stick-in-the-mud. However, as is true of most cowards, she didn't want to be named.

"I don't think they should be in a garden with my young kids running around nearby," the neighborhood morality monitor told the Telegraph. "They are childish and I think it pathetic that they are in a front garden in full view of everyone."

The gnomes were there before your kids, lady. Besides, if you can't control where your kids run around (i.e. "don't go in front of Mrs. Smith's house"), then having them see naked pieces of concrete should probably be the least of your worries.

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