Skip to main content

At the Track with Justin Wilson

Justin Wilson can be a little boring. (That's race car driver Justin Wilson, not the Cajun Cook Justin Wilson.)

Not accountant boring, but dad-and-husband boring (I say this as one of the world's most boring dads and husbands). This is actually what you actually want for an IndyCar driver. When your job consists of driving a $1 million machine in excess of 200 miles per hour, making nothing but left turns, you want as much consistency and stability as possible.

Still, I asked Justin what he usually does when he's not driving, hoping for juicy tales of dates with celebrities, clubbing, decadent fun. You know, the racing lifestyle.

Nope. He hangs out with friends and family, and relaxes as much as possible.

He gave the typical driver's answer — "Hang out at the garage with the guys, thinking about setup, or at the motor home just hanging out" — so I asked him what he did when he wasn't driving.

"Well, I brought my bicycle, so I get out and explore a bit, and then I got to the gym. I work out six days a week."

Needless to say, I felt like a lump standing next to him. He's 6' 3.5" (he's the tallest driver in the race), and he's built like, well, a guy who works out six days a week. I, on the other hand, didn't work out six days all last year. I swear I'm going to start as soon as this race is over. Or maybe in July. I'm kind of busy in June.

"Oh that's nothing. When I was in F-1, I worked out twice a day, six days a week."

Okay, starting to not like the guy.

So what do you do in the evenings? Just hang out around the Speedway, or do you get out on the town?

"We've got friends in town, so we go see them. Hang out just to be with them."

("We?" Why do drivers always insist on calling themselves "we?" Are you the Queen or something?)

"Occasionally, we'll go out to a restaurant. Last night we ate dinner with friends, but the night before that, we went out," said Justin. "My wife is pretty good about going out, and we just strap my daughter into the baby carrier, and she's all set."

(Oh, that "we." Never mind.)

Justin and his wife Julia have a 12-month-old daughter, Jane. (See, dad-and-husband boring. I can relate.)

"It's great being a dad," he said. "I'd say the teething's pretty. . . interesting."

"Just don't stick your finger in her mouth," I said. "Once she gets all four teeth, they're like little daggers."

"Oh, I know. I go to give her a hug, and then a few minutes later, she's going nom nom nom." And then he made those little gnawing noises — I got Mr. F-1 champion Justin Wilson to make baby gnawing noises.

Okay, I like the guy again.

Justin, who sold shares of himself to investors to raise money for his early racing career, is looking to improve on his 27th finish in 2008. After that, he'll head to Milwaukee to compete in the Indy Car Series at the Milwaukee Mile from May 29 - 31.

Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.


Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide


Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…