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Miami-Dade Prosecutor to be Prosecuted for Punching Pizza Delivery Woman

Do you remember the movie The Doctor, starring William Hurt, who was a know-it-all doctor until he became a patient? Miami-Dade prosecutor David Ranck is about to find out what it's like to be prosecuted.

He's being charged with punching a pizza delivery woman because he was upset she didn't get his pizza delivered to her on time.

According to the Miami Herald, Ranck was suspended without pay on Monday after he allegedly punched Yudisceus Rodriguez de Armas.

Police found him standing next to Rodriguez's car, while she was locked inside, "shaking and in tears."

According to the police, when Rodriguez delivered Ranck's pizza, she couldn't get inside his gated condo building, so she called his cell phone. So he started yelling at her from his balcony, came downstairs, and then knocked her Domin's visor off her head.

Then, and this shows what a class act he is, he supposedly punched her in the arm, "leaving a bright red mark."

Ranck said he hit Rodriguez, but only after she hit him with her cellphone. She only hit him with her cellphone, says the report, because he yelled at her from his balcony. And since she only speaks Spanish, she didn't know what he was yelling about.

The best line from the whole article:

His lawyer, Allan Kaiser, declined to comment on the case. But he did say: "At this point, I'm wondering where his pizza is. He never got his pizza."

That's good. A guy who's charging at least a few hundred bucks an hour, and he's more concerned about the pizza? Dude, for what you're charging, I think you can get another one.

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  1. Ten bonus points for invoking "The Doctor." Hadn't thought about that movie in ... oh ... at least the 18 years since it came out.


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