Skip to main content

Write Your Own Artist's Vision Statement

Write your own artist's statement

I'm a big fan of the arts, especially in my hometown, Indianapolis. And whenever I go to see different art shows and exhibits, I always take the time to read the artist's statement. I know some artists struggle with writing their artist's vision statement, so here is a helpful template to help any artist come up with one they can use at their coming shows.

My name is __________ (my real name / a nom de guerre / something I saw on a label in an Asian food market), and I __________ (am an emerging artist / am an artist with many a year's journey / found a brush and a can of paint last week). I ___________ (create / give birth to / slop together) my art in order to ___________ (engage / inspire / cause vomiting in) the __________ (observer / community / homeless guy outside my studio). The underlying theme of my life's work has been inspired by __________ (the light of our souls / man's inhumanity to man / come on, does anyone really say 'man's inhumanity to man' anymore?).

I ____________ (paint / sculpt / draw / pile crap on top of other crap) for __________(clients / art aficionados / soulless yuppies who buy art to show off their status) so they can __________ (admire and appreciate it / consider their place in the universe / give me a shitload of money). In return, I use my __________ (artist's vision / soul's eye / ability to run a good scam) to __________ (find the beauty in the world / tell the world's stories / get a shitload of money from stupid yuppies). As a __________ (traditional artist / mixed-media artist / bullshit artist), I seek my inspiration by (watching the world around me / listening to the voice of God within my soul / going through the homeless guy's duffel bag when he's passed out).

I believe people have __________ (a spark of genius / a streak of creativity / a startling willingness to buy anything) that can be harnessed to let the world __________ (hear our creative voice / share our stories / give me a shitload of money).

In the future, my goal is to __________ (explore a new theme of global issues / experiment with different media / see if I can find some schmuck to buy a canvas made with newspaper, heavy-duty polyurethane, and the homeless guy's toenail clippings). As you admire these works, be sure to open your __________ (mind to the world's voice / heart to a new experience / wallet).

---
Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.

Comments

  1. I sense a smidgeon of sarcasm. Oh, by the way, can you introduce my wife to some of these yuppie friends of yours, so we can go on vacation next year?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not sarcasm, at least not toward artists. Rather, on behalf of them.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I am accepting comments from people with Google accounts to cut down on spam.
Otherwise, spam comments will be deleted with malicious glee.

Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide

TFBIHCAEEPTSD.

Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…