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Australian Mobile Users Complain About UNSOLICITED Death Threats

A couple days ago, I wrote about a news story by KCRA TV in Sacramento, California not getting how a couple of sky divers might have died. I was worried that the American news media is just getting dumber by the day.

Apparently it's spreading.

Australia's Marketing Magazine just launched this doozy of a headline:

The Australian Communications and Media Authority has received complaints about unsolicited SMS death threats being sent to Australian mobile users.

Unsolicited death threats? Unsolicited death threats?! Are they any other kind?

"This month, we're running a special where you can get unlimited long distance, unlimited texts, and unlimited death threats for $59.95 per month."

Apparently, some Australian mobile phone users were receiving death threats from an overseas location.
“I am about to kill you. If you want to live, contact [] to get information on what you will have to do to live. If you ignore this message, you will die!”

"Can you kill me now? Good."

The ACMA says that these death threats are nothing more than a scam to scare money out of people. They're telling people to ignore the messages — because if you ignore assassins, they'll go away — and not to disclose any personal information or pay them money.

"Hello, my name is Iñigo Montoya. You sent me a text. Prepare to die."

I'm sure the people at Marketing Magazine are very fine people, but if they're like most marketers, they like to use as many words as possible. So whoever wrote the headline probably thought nothing of adding the word "unsolicited" to it.

Next time, just avoid the marketing speak and extra words to make yourself sound smart. Write the headline the way real people talk, and you'll do fine.

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