Skip to main content

Green Business Owner Fined for Not Producing Garbage

We've all been told how we need to reduce, reuse, and recyle, in order to keep things out of the landfills, and help save the earth, right?

From the "Must have missed the memo" files, the Southend (England) city council is fining Mark Howard and his bicycle shop for not producing any waste.

According to the London Daily Mail, Howard takes his commitment to the environment seriously. He reuses old materials like cardboard and pedals or sells old aluminum and steel bike frames as scrap, so he doesn't have any trash. But the council doesn't believe him because they're too busy with an up-close inspection of their own large intestine.

If Howard doesn't pay his fine within 10 days, it will rise to £300, and then he could be taken to court.

Last month, Howard received a letter from the council asking how he disposed of his waste. That's because the garbage collectors noticed they hadn't been picking up any waste. That caused a stir, because they're paid £80 to collect the trash, and they weren't collecting any, which meant they weren't going to get the £1.6 per week.

So Howard called the council, and said he didn't have any trash. The council basically said they thought he was lying, and would send out an inspector to check it out. The inspector showed up, didn't look around, and handed him a letter with the fine.

Howard says he actually has the paperwork to back up all of his claims, but nobody will listen to him.

"Despite repeated calls I was fobbed off all the time," Howard told the Daily Mail. "I have tried to get an interview with the director of the department but nothing has happened. This is totally stupid. The council must have money to burn because they want this case to go to court.

But stunningly, the Southend Council had the temerity to defend their actions. Simon Crowther, group manager for waste, told the Daily Mail, "Mr Howard is required under the Environmental (Duty of Care) Regulations 1991 to produce evidence as to how he legally and lawfully disposes of commercial waste under his control"

Sounds like no one from your office actually looked, Simon. All you've done is presume him guilty, and forced him to prove himself innocent. A lack of garbage doesn't mean he's doing anything sinister with it, like storing it in little jars in a closet. Pull your head out of your Crowther and go see for yourself what he's doing with it.

Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.


Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide


Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…