Skip to main content

Family Fun Night is not Always Fun

Family Fun Night Not Always Fun

Erik Deckers
Laughing Stalk syndicate
Copyright 2009

"Okay kids, sit down. It's family night. We're going to play a game. "

"Sweetie, come back here."

"No, we're not watching a movie tonight."

"No, we're not watching TV either. We're going to play a game."

"Not a video game, Buddy."

"No, Honey, we're not playing a computer game."

"Yes, I'll tell them. You need to respect the process. I'm trying to build suspense."

"Fine. We're playing Uno."

"It's a card game."

"Can you read the name here, Buddy?"

"No Buddy, oo-no, not you-know."

"Yes, Honey, that's it."

"Right, Sweetie, it's Spanish for one."

"You lay down a card that has the same number or color as the one in the discard pile. If you have one of the battle cards, you can make someone pick up two or four cards, skip their turn, or reverse the order of our turns. We'll figure it out as we play."

"Here we go. And the first card is a red seven. Honey, do you have a seven or a red?"

"Then you need to draw a card."

"Buddy, hold your cards up. We can see them."

"You don't want to let me see them."

"Because someone might cheat."

"By knowing what cards you have. They would know that they should play a certain card because you don't have it."

"No, I'm not cheating."

"No, your sisters aren't cheating either."

"No, Buddy, Mommy's not cheating either."

"No, nobody's chea—Honey, quit looking at my cards."

"Okay, Sweetie, do you have a three or a blue?"

"What do you mean, you have a skip? It's my turn next."

"Don't laugh."

"Thank you. See, Mommy has a reverse card, and now it's your turn, Honey. Do you have a nine or a yellow?"

"Skip? What is up with you guys? Don't I get a chance to play?"

"All right, when it's my turn again, I know just the card to play."

"Draw four?! Honey, I taught you this game, and you hit me with a draw four? That's a little harsh."

"Buddy, hold your cards up."

"Okay, will somebody please put down a card I can use?"

"Ha, draw two! Take that."

"What? I am not trash talking a 13-year-old girl. I just got a little excited, that's all. I'm sorry, Sweetie. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Okay, thank you."

"Uh, nice reverse, Buddy. Heh heh, guess that means, uh, Sweetie, that means it's your turn...?"

"Draw four? Come on."

"I said I was sorry."

"Fine. Honey, it's your turn again."

"Oh sure, you give Mommy the red seven, and I get the freaking draw four?"

"Another reverse. Good job, Buddy. I'm seriously starting to not like this game."

"Honey, please? Please, I'm begging you. Don't hit me with a skip card. Look, I'll get you a pony for your birthday if you don't give me a skip card."

"I know your birthday was two weeks ago. Did I say birthday? I meant Christmas. That's coming up real soon."

"Great, a draw two. You don't get a pony now."

"That's all right. It's okay, we're still having fun as a family, and that's all that really matt—YOU DIDN'T SAY 'UNO!'"

"What? I didn't shout."

"I didn't."

"Okay, I got a little excited, but that's the rule. You have to say 'Uno' before your other card hits the discard pile. She has to pick up two cards."

"Oh, I think I can be forgiven. She has to pick up two cards, while I still need to get rid of the 37 cards, thanks to all the draw fours and skips, so I don't feel all that sympathetic."

"Well, it's like they're already experts. I'm trying to teach them the game, and I'm getting skunked."

"What do you mean, you guys have played this before? When did you start playing Uno?"

"But why didn't you say anything back then? Summer time is a great time for playing cards."

"No I'm not 'too competitive.'"

"I am not sulking."

"Not pouting either."

"Why don't you kids go watch a movie or something."


I could really use some voting help. I'm a contestant on two different sites for favorite blog. One is on Linking Indiana, and the other on Top 50 Indiana Blogs. If you could stop by and vote for me, that would be great. Thank you.

---
Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide

TFBIHCAEEPTSD.

Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…