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PETA Doesn't Want Wildlife Park Elephants Washing Cars

Animal rights joke organization PETA wants the Wildlife Safari in Oregon to stop using elephants to wash cars.

The group — which is also widely known for killing pets at its Norfolk, Virginia animal shelter — thinks the elephant carwash is "a gimmick that does nothing to foster respect for endangered species."

Gimmick? A gimmick?!

You're the same bozos who have started calling fish "sea kittens," wanted to open a "chicken empathy museum" in Louisiana, and wanted to whack a 6-foot bottle of Canadian maple syrup in Vermont with a club to protest seal clubbing in Canada.

Meanwhile, PETA's little gimmicks do nothing to foster respect for painfully-thin, faux-leather-Birkenstock-wearing granola munchers, but yet they keep doing stupid stuff.

In a story in the Roseburg (Oregon) News-Review, the PETA whiners believe the bullhooks, more commonly called an ankus, are being used to threaten the elephants with harm if they don't do their jobs.

But Dan Brands, the man who actually works with the elephants on a daily basis, told the News-Review that these bullhooks are used as an extension of the trainers' arms as guides, not hitting implements. Trainers actually give the elephants carrots or yams as treats.

"These are 2-ton animals," Brands said. "You can't force them to do anything they wouldn't want to do."

If PETA was truly concerned, they would put down their Starbucks soy half-caffe organic fair trade latte, leave their cushy air conditioned offices, and volunteer to wash these cars themselves. But until they're truly willing to step in and take over for the elephants, they need to stick to doing what they know best: killing Virginia's pets and making fools of themselves.

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