Skip to main content

What the Bleep is Wrong With Meep?

What the Bleep is Wrong With Meep?
Erik Deckers
Laughing Stalk syndicate
Copyright 2009

I hate it when people bleep themselves.

No, I'm not bleeping out a bad word. I mean, I really don't like it when people say "bleep." As in "what the bleep is wrong with you?!" (If I actually had to use a bad word, I would write %#@!, which is called a "grawlix" by cartoonists.)

Don't say "bleep." It makes you sound five, or like you're trying to be funny with a really old joke, like "let there be light!" whenever you flip a light switch. If you want to say a curse word, just say the damn word. If you don't want to say the word, then say another freakin' word. Say "dang," "darn," "golly," or "goldurn." Just don't bleep yourself.

My kids don't even say "bleep." They usually say, "uh, that word you, uh, don't want us to say." Then we spend the next five minutes convincing them they won't be punished for saying it.

I appreciate that about my kids. They understand that there is a time and place for everything. The time is "not for the next 10 years," and the place is "not around me."

Still, one would hope that kids would have a little more respect for themselves than that, and would refrain from cussing, or at least practice a little self-censorship.

I could live with the word "meep," for example. But Danvers High School in Danvers, Mass. is up in arms about it.

Principal Thomas Murray was concerned because kids were saying "meep" at school. He was so concerned in fact, he sent all the parents an automated call saying if their kids said or displayed the offending word at school, they could be suspended.

Murray said students had been using it and other nonsensical words in the school, and that it was going to be a part of a planned disruption some of the students had organized online.

"It's really not about the word in particular," Murray told the Salem News. (Translation: "It's really about that word in particular.") Murray explained that the reason for his message was that students had been instructed to not use those or other words in a particular part of the building.

So he asked the students not to use the word to disrupt school and to stop other disruptive behaviors, but they didn't listen.

"Then... then..." he said, breaths coming in ragged, shuddering gasps. "Those big kids were mean to me!"

Okay, that's not really what happened. What he really said was "Students were not going along with the direction or refraining from a particular type of language."

Meep? Are you freaking kidding me?! There are all kinds of cuss words those kids could be saying, and you got your panties in a bunch because a bunch of kids said meep?! (See what I did there? I didn't use the F-word, but I didn't say "bleep" either.)

Murray said the automated call was made as a way to stop an apparent meep-in that was being planned on Facebook.

Murray says that thanks to the phone call, the "disruption" never happened, although some students were suspended, but "there were additional factors involved in their suspension unrelated to simply saying 'meep.'" But Murray insists that the word "meep" is not the problem.

"It has nothing to do with the word," Murray said. "It has to do with the conduct of the students. We wouldn't just ban a word just to ban a word."

So Murray instead blamed social networking in general and Facebook in particular for the whole thing. He thinks this should be a warning to parents about how kids are using social networking sites.

Having solved all other teen social networking problems like sexting, teenagers posting racy photos of themselves, and chatting online with complete strangers who may or may not be sex offenders, Murray is now keeping us safe from dangerous words like "meep."

"I'm not sure parents are aware of what students are getting into on the Facebook sites," Murray said.

Don't blame Facebook for this. Kids have been organizing pranks and "disruptions" to their education for centureis. Before Facebook, it was text messages, calling each other after school, passing notes in class, and chiseling out messages on stone tablets.

Learn to identify the real problem. A bunch of kids started using a silly word instead of a curse word. And you didn't want your authority threatened by this non-word, so you flexed your power over such a non-issue that Napoleon was heard clapping in his tomb.

Just man up and quit being such a meep baby.

Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.


  1. Imagine a school where everyone just randomly calls out 'meep' and thinks it's funny and they can get away with it. All. Day.


Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I am accepting comments from people with Google accounts to cut down on spam.
Otherwise, spam comments will be deleted with malicious glee.

Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide


Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…