Skip to main content

LaPorte, Indiana County Fair Makes Sheriff's Deputy Buy Ticket to Do His Duty

I pity my fellow Hoosiers sometimes, because some of them can be such idiots.

According to a story on the Channel 22 WSBT website (official motto: what do you mean, there are people outside South Bend?), a LaPorte County sheriff's deputy was told to pay the $5 entrance fee, even though he needed to enter the fair to make an arrest.

Fair and police officials are calling this a mix-up, I call it just plain idiocy.

Apparently the misunderstanding arises from the fact that the fair used private security this year, rather than hiring police officers. As a result, deputies who had worked the fair in the past now had to pay to get in, "unless called to make an arrest," said the website.

Sergeant Mike Kellems was called to the fairgrounds to arrest a man on an outstanding felony warrant. Kellems stopped at the gate and said he was there to arrest a fugitive, but was told by two separate officious dunderheads gate attendants that he pay the $5 ticket.

Kellems paid the ticket, and then asked for a receipt, and returned to his squad car to wait for it. (Personally, I would have then entered, done my job, and gotten the receipt on the way out, but that's just me.) Kellems waited for several minutes, but nobody showed up, so he went inside to the fair security office, where the fugitive had already been detained.

The stupid part is that when the fair decided to use a private security firm, they arranged with the sheriff's department to allow deputies to enter the fairgrounds without a ticket, since the private security firm cannot make arrests.

What I don't understand is why Kellems didn't just remind the two gate attendants that of the three of them, only he had the power to arrest people for obstructing justice and being a general pain in the ass. The other two were just there to collect money and hand out tiny pieces of paper. While that may be an important job, I would think removing a felon from their midst would be worth forgoing the $5 just this once.

Like this post? Leave a comment, Digg it, or Stumble it.


Popular posts from this blog

AYFKMWTS?! FBI Creates 88 Page Twitter Slang Guide


Did you get that? It's an acronym. Web slang. It's how all the teens and young people are texting with their tweeters and Facer-books on their cellular doodads.

It stands for "The FBI has created an eighty-eight page Twitter slang dictionary."

See, you would have known that if you had the FBI's 88 page Twitter slang dictionary.

Eighty-eight pages! Of slang! AYFKMWTS?! (Are you f***ing kidding me with this s***?! That's actually how they spell it in the guide, asterisks and everything. You know, in case the gun-toting agents who catch mobsters and international terrorists get offended by salty language.)

I didn't even know there were 88 Twitter acronyms, let alone enough acronyms to fill 88 pieces of paper.

The FBI needs to be good at Twitter because they're reading everyone's tweets to see if anyone is planning any illegal activities. Because that's what terrorists do — plan their terroristic activities publicly, as if they were…

Understanding 7 Different Types of Humor

One of my pet peeves is when people say they have a "dry" sense of humor, without actually understanding what it actually means.

"Dry" humor is not just any old type of humor. It's not violent, not off-color, not macabre or dark.

Basically, dry humor is that deadpan style of humor. It's the not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells. It's Bob Newhart, Steven Wright, or Jason Bateman in Arrested Development.

It is not, for the love of GOD, people, the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I swear, if anyone says Monty Python is "dry humor" is going to get a smack.

Here are some other types of comedy you may have heard and are just tossing around, willy-nilly.

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves in an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of. The play "The Foreigner" is an example of a farce, as are many of the Jeeves &…

What Are They Thinking? The Beloit College Mindset List

Every year at this time, the staff at Beloit College send out their new student Mindset List as a way to make everyone clutch their chest and feel the cold hand of death.

This list was originally created and shared with their faculty each year, so the faculty would understand what some of their own cultural touchstones might mean, or not mean, to the incoming freshmen. They also wanted the freshmen to know it was not cool to refer to '80s music as "Oldies."

This year's incoming Beloit freshmen are typically 18 years old, born in 1999. John F. Kennedy Jr. died that year, as did Stanley Kubrick and Gene Siskel. And so did my hope for a society that sought artistic and intellectual pursuits for the betterment of all humanity. Although it may have actually died when I heard about this year's Emoji Movie.

Before I throw my hands up in despair, here are a few items from the Mindset list for the class of 2021.

They're the last class to be born in the 1900s, and are t…