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A One-Sided Homecoming Conversation

A One-Sided Homecoming Conversation

"Quit whining. I know it's early."

"We needed to find a spot for the parade."

"Because otherwise we would be stuck behind a bunch of people and you wouldn't be able to see anything."

"It's when all the alumni 'come home' to their school. I always try to come to Ball State's Homecoming every year. And I try to bring you kids to the parade too."

"Because everyone loves a parade."

"You don't mean that. You're just tired."


"It'll be here in a few more minutes."

"Look, Honey, I didn't want to get up at 6:00 either, but that was the only way we were going to get to Muncie in time."

"It started at 8:00."

"Because they started a couple miles away, in the high school parking lot."

"It will be here in about 30 minutes."

"There's no where else you can gather an entire parade all at once."

"Absolutely, Buddy. Lots of floats with girls who throw candy. And marching bands. And horses. And people no one has ever heard of riding in convertibles waving to the crowd."

"I don't know. They're local politicians and celebrities and radio personalities."

"Hey, Muncie has a few personalities!"

"I don't know. I haven't lived here in almost 19 years. But we do have famous people."

"Yes, Sweetie, Muncie famous."

"Hey, this is my hometown you kids are talking about. And my alma mater."

"It means the college I graduated from."

"Twenty-two years ago."

"It's not that long."

"Yes, we had color TV."

"And cable."

"No, we really didn't have the Internet then."

"Because Mommy said she wasn't feeling well."

"No, I didn't know she was going to the mall."

"When did she and Grandma plan that?"

"I didn't make you do anything. I strongly urged you to come with me, especially since Mommy wasn't feeling well."

"Now that I think about it, it was more her idea anyway."

"Because I want you to see where you're all going to go to college."

"I don't care if she said you could go anywhere. This is where I went to school, and so I want my children to at least consider going to school here as well."

"I said, I want you to consider going to — I can't hear you over the marching band."

"That's the Ball State Marching Band."

"The Cardinals."

"Because it's Indiana's state bird."

"Because the robin just isn't as interesting."

"That's the Ball State Marching Band. They're called the Pride of Mid-America."

"I don't know. Maybe they picked the name themselves."

"Look, the first float."

"I know, that is a creepy looking guy."

"Because he's made from papier-mâché."

"It's French for "messy paper.""

"No, I'm sure it is."

"Papier means paper, and mâché means messy."

"I don't care what your French teacher said."

"No, I've never been to France."

"They build a wire frame and then cover it with glue-coated newspaper. That's the papier-mâché."

"I don't know who that is."

"Or that one."

"Or that — wait, there's a sign on the side of the cars. That tells who they are."

"Yeah, I still don't know either."

"Equestrian means horses. So that's a horse team."

"That's the guy the horse team doesn't like."

"No, the marching band loves him. He keeps them from stepping in what the horses leave behind."

"I think the parade is about to end."

"Because that last float was three people standing in the back of a pickup throwing candy."

"Okay, let's go get some breakfast."


"The game starts at 2:30."

"You can sleep in the car, after we take a quick tour."

"Of your future college."

"Well, if she had come with us, she might have had a say in the matter."

My book, Branding Yourself: How to Use Social Media to Invent or Reinvent Yourself (affiliate link), is available on, as well as at Barnes & Noble and Borders bookstores. I wrote it with my good friend, Kyle Lacy.

My NEW book, No Bullshit Social Media: The All-Business, No-Hype Guide to Social Media Marketing is also out. You can get it from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million, including on the Kindle and Nook.

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