A One-Sided Conversation About Money

"Hey, Buddy, what can I do for you?"

"No, you can't have a hundred dollars."

"Why do you need a hundred dollars?"

"You've already got a video game."

"How can it be too old? You kept going on and on about how new and great it was when you got it."

"Five years ago?!"

"Wow, that doesn't seem that long ago."

"What about your birthday money?"

"I guess you need to decide between a Lego set and a Nintendo DS2."

"Sorry, 2DS."

"Yes, I know it's because different from the DS3."

"Whatever, 3DS."

"You don't need to keep correcting me. 3DS or DS3, it doesn't matter to me."

"Because you don't have one."

"Fine, you don't have the 2DS."

"Well, you could earn the money."

"By working."

"Shoveling driveways or mowing lawns."

"I know. I didn't mean right now. You'd mow in the summer."

"By February?! How many times do you think you're going to shovel the driveway?"

"There's no way I'm paying you 50 bucks to shovel the driveway!"


"No, you go down. If I say 10, you say 18, not 22."


"No, yours needs to be higher than twelve."

"Do you even know how to haggle?"

"Right, and then when I say ten, you say 'ten for that, you must be mad!'""

"Sorry, that's an old joke from a movie."

"No, Mommy won't let me let you watch it."

"Okay look, if you and your sister shovel the driveway, I'll pay you each six dollars."

"If it's just you, I'll give you fifteen."

"Because you guys will end up throwing snow at each other, and I'll have to go out and reshovel."

"You could also shovel the neighbors' driveways."

"No, you can't borrow his snow blower."

"Because you're 11 and you need to learn what real work feels like."

"I don't need one."

"Because I have you and your sister and two shovels."

"They take up too much space in the garage and I'm not old enough to need one yet."

"When I'm in danger of having a heart attack from shoveling the driveway."


"Mommy worries too much. I'm in great shape."

"A snow blower costs at least $400. I could get you two DS2s and save the space in the garage."

"Whatever, 2DS."

"All you need is your shovel, warm boots, and warm gloves, and you could knock out three driveways in a couple hours. Charge $15 each, and you're almost halfway to your 100 bucks. How much is a DS2?"

"Whatever. That's ten driveways total. You could shovel our driveway ten times, which would take about two winters given the snow we've been getting, or you could shovel five neighbors driveways twice this winter, which is not out of the question."

"Depends on how bad you want that DS2."


"You can't be choosy about whose driveways you shovel. You take what you can get."

"That's not a good reason not to shovel their driveway."

"You won't even be in the house."

"No, you won't be able to smell it from outside."

"You should probably go knock on a few doors now before the next snow falls and line up your customers."

"So they know you're coming to shovel the next time."

"No I won't go with you."

"Because I don't need a DS2"


"If you keep saying that, I'm going to charge shovel rental fees."

"No, I'm just kidding. You don't need to tell her."

"Because she'll make me shovel the driveway."

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