What Does Your State Hate?

I'm a little offended, Indiana. Apparently, you hate bloggers.

I'm a blogger!

I lived in Indiana for 45 years, made my career out of blogging, and yet my home state hates bloggers? I even blogged for the state of Indiana, for crying out loud!

I guess I can't take it too personally. Massachusetts hates Eli Manning as an individual. There are 6.8 million people in Massachusetts and apparently they all hate Eli Manning. My state just hates people who do my job.

But Eli isn't the only one who has a whole state hate him. South Carolina hates Edward Snowden, Delaware hates Casey Affleck, and the entire state of Florida hates workout couples.

I can get behind that last one. People need privacy when they're sweating, grunting, and accidentally farting.

Meanwhile, Pennsylvania hates people who use money clips, and Kentucky hates people who ask you to help them move. Both are odd things to hate, but not as weird as Missouri's hatred of people who believe in aliens.

People in Texas also hate aliens, but I don't think they mean the same thing.

This data comes from the dating app Hater, which matches people based on things they hate. You vote on over 3,000 topics, telling the app whether you hate, love, like, or dislike something. Then you're matched with other hard-to-please people based on what you both find abhorrent.

Targets of your bitter loathing can include "biting ice cream," "Vladimir Putin," "starting an Instagram for your dog," and "butt selfies."

Founder Brendan Alper got the idea for Hater based on a 2006 University of Oklahoma study that found people are able to bond more effectively over things they hate than things they like.

In other words, the enemy of my enemy is having dinner with me Saturday night.

Still, you have to wonder what kind of relationship is born out of discovering things you mutually hate. I'm sure it makes for interesting conversations during the first weeks of a relationship — Do you hate jellyfish (New Jersey)? I really hate jellyfish! — but a relationship based on the mutual hatred of stupid stuff is going to get old after a while.

"I hate waiting in line (Vermont)."

"Can we just talk about something else?"

Of course, not everyone hates the same things or to the same degree. That's going to lead to some mismatched relationships.

"Do you hate porn? I totally hate porn (Utah)."

"I think we should break up."
A few weeks ago, Hater compiled the most hated items for each state, as decided by their few hundred thousand users, and released a map showing what each state hates the most.

The things that each state hates vary wildly. They're not even regional preferences. Some states hate people, some states hate things, while others hate activities, and still others hate ideas.

For example, Illinois hates biting string cheese, Idaho hates asking for directions, Oregon hates spin class, and Virginia hates dabbing pizza grease with a napkin. But Nevada hates feminism, California hates fidget spinners, and South Dakota hates friendly reminder emails.

And Montana hates going to the gym. I was born in Montana, although we left when I was two. But I can tell you that particular hatred gets into your DNA at a very early age.

As far as individual people go, only a few were named outright. Massachusetts hates Eli Manning, South Carolina hates Edward Snowden, and Delaware absolutely despises Casey Affleck.

And Hoosiers hate bloggers, so those of you who swiped down on that can just bite me.

Meanwhile, Texas hates sleeping with the windows open, because it never gets below 95 degrees there. Also, Texas snakes are 15 feet long and can climb in though second story windows.

Oklahomans say they hate hearing the latest gossip, which I think is a lie. But they are troubled about Marjorie Peacock's drinking because they smelled whiskey on her breath at church. And also they're worried sick about Kenny and Shelley Ann's marriage on account of they heard Shelley Ann went dancing at The Root with a younger man she says is her cousin, but they were dancing awfully close for cousins, so it's not actually gossip, just concern for other people.

Lastly, Rhode Island hates Middle America. Look, Rhode Island, you're the Vatican City of the United States. There are 1.05 million people who live there, and nearly 1 million people who live in central Indiana, so it's not like you're anything special.

So you snooty Swamp Yankees better climb off your high horse, or we'll tell Virginia you dab pizza grease with a napkin.

Photo credit: Hater Dater app (Used with permission)


You can find my books Branding Yourself (affiliate link), No Bullshit Social Media, and The Owned Media Doctrine on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million, or for the Kindle or Nook.

Comments

  1. Kudos to Hater for retaining the E in its name.

    And kudos to you, Erik, for restraining yourself from writing a three-paragraph exposition on Alabama hating anal sex. I know you were tempted.

    In other news, Colorado just keeps giving me more reasons to move there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. On Facebook, I posted this column with the statement that the Midwest told Rhode Island to go do the thing Alabama hates to itself. But since this column appears in several small-town Indiana newspapers, I had to refrain from mentioning it at all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love it. You're not wrong about Texas... or Oklahoma.

    ReplyDelete

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