Hurricane Coverage in the Modern Age

Local ABC: We're providing round-the-clock hurricane coverage.

Local NBC: Three days before Irma makes landfall until she finally hits Georgia.

L-ABC: 24 hours a day.

L-NBC: Without commercial interruption.

The Weather Channel: Residents of southern Florida are being told by the Governor to evacuate.

L-ABC: Southern Florida is being ordered to evacuate. In the next hour, we'll tell you whether Central Floridians should stay put.

L-NBC: Are Central Floridians evacuating? We'll have the answers sometime in the next four hours.

L-ABC: Stay tuned for our interview with Central Floridians who are fleeing for their lives! But first, our 3-color radar map.

Text from my dad: Are you evacuating?

Fox News: Liberal Hurricane Irma threatens to strike the South White House, Mar-A-Lago.

Rush Limbaugh: The liberal media is overinflating Hurricane Irma to sell ads! They just want to scare you.

TWC: I'm standing outside in my loudest rain slicker so you can hear how whippy the wind is.

Rush: Climate change is a hoax to distract us from Hillary's emails! Don't fall for it, folks!

Florida Governor: Everyone in the Florida Keys and Miami area, please evacuate immediately! This hurricane is dangerous!

Rush: Feet, don't fail me now!

L-ABC: The Governor is holding a press conference! We'll join live with our picture-in-picture 4-color radar map.

TWC: It's really windy out here! I'm actually in danger!

Midwest Facebook: Our thoughts and prayers are with those in the path of Hurricane Irma.

Florida Facebook: Woo-hoo, I'm having an Irma party.

MW FB: Text "IRMA" to 90999 to donate to the Red Cross relief fund.

Florida Facebook: Just donate booze and food to the party.

L-NBC: Here's our radar map. Look, Ma, five colors.

L-ABC: Our map has seven colors now.

TWC: Irma is shifting westward and is heading for Tampa.

L-ABC: So many colors.

Fox News: Mar-A-Lago will be spared! I repeat, Mar-A-Lago will be spared. The hurricane has shifted westward, away from Mar-A-Lago.

FL FB: I'm hosting a "Point your fans at Irma to make her blow away" party. Ha ha!

Rest of FL FB: Ha ha, that's a good one.

MW FB: Actually it doesn't work that way. That's like us throwing ice cubes at blizzards.

Small Town IN Newspaper: A local couple has a tenuous connection to a hurricane affected area. Check out our front page coverage.

FL FB: I'm hosting a "Shoot Your Guns at Irma to Make It Blow Away" party. Ha ha!

Rest of FL FB: That's funnier than the fan thing. Good one!

MW FB: Why aren't you people taking this seriously?

L-ABC: Some Floridians aren't taking Irma seriously! We'll interview a few of these so-called comedians.

L-NBC: Come on, you guys. This is serious.

FL FB: Stores are out of water again. Here are pictures of empty shelves that used to have water.

L-ABC: Stores are out of water again. Our reporter is on the scene!

L-NBC: Stores are out of water again. Our reporter is on a different scene!

My dad: Do you have plenty of water?

Fox News: Gangs are stealing water in Florida!

STINN: People in Florida are planning to shoot Irma with guns. We talk to a gun owner about gun safety. Check out our front page coverage.

Florida Police: Don't shoot Irma with guns!

FL FB: BWAHAHAHA! They fell for it!

TWC: Miami is taking an awful lashing from Irma as she heads west, diverting away from Central Florida.

L-NBC: Irma could head back our way at any moment. Stay tuned to our 9-color map!

Miami FB: Man, I hope my house is okay. I'm seeing a lot of flooding on the news. All my photos and family heirlooms!

MW FB: Things can be replaced, people can't.

Miami FB: Aren't you on your second marriage?

TWC: Look at all this wind! My rain slicker is really whipping around!

STINN: Our features editor went to Disney World 17 years ago. Check out our front page coverage for her memories about the Magic Kingdom.

Fox News: Rush Limbaugh was bullied by liberals!

Conservative Facebook: Obama didn't do squat during Hurricane Katrina. He was playing golf!

Liberal Facebook: That was 2005. He wasn't president then.

Fox News: We look at eight years of Obama inaction during Hurricane Katrina.

L-ABC: We added three more colors!

TWC: Look how far I can lean over in the wind!

FL FB: My power went out.

FL FB: Mine too.

FL FB: Me too.

My dad: Did you lose power?

After it was all said and done, we made it through Hurricane Irma just fine. We lost a small section of our fence, but our power never went out, and our preparations paid off. We've been having friends come over to use our showers, laundry, and to charge electronics.

And I do want to thank everyone for their concern, especially their thoughts and prayers. My family and I heard from a lot of people who wanted to make sure we were okay, and we felt truly blessed to have so many friends who checked in on us. Thank you all!

You can find my books Branding Yourself (affiliate link), No Bullshit Social Media, and The Owned Media Doctrine on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million, or for the Kindle or Nook.