Woman Marries Ghost, Take 2

People marry weird things. Not weird people, weird things. A few years ago, a woman married a Robert Pattinson cardboard cutout. Several men and women have married themselves as part of something called "sologamy." And in 2010, a Korean man married a large body pillow with a female anime character printed on it.

So it's no longer unusual to hear about women who want to marry, or at least have a serious relationship, with a ghost.

Six months ago, I wrote about Amanda Sparrow Teague, a 45-year-old Irish woman, who married Jack Teague, the 300-year-old ghost of a Haitian pirate. (Or as I like to call him, the Dead Pirate Roberts.)

Amanda and Jack were married on a small boat with 12 of her friends and family, and presumably hundreds of Jack's ghost friends who were just hanging around.. Coincidentally, that's how Jack was executed for thievery.

I thought Amanda's would be the last of the "I married a ghost" stories, but I was wrong.

The (London) Daily Mail recently reported that Amethyst Realm of Bristol, England says she's settling down with a spirit she met in Australia.

Amethyst has given up sex with men of this earth in favor of ghostly lovers. She says she's had sex with 20 different ghosts over the last 11 years, because "ghost sex is better than sex with real men."

But those days are behind her as she's finally met a ghost who says she's the ghoul for him, and they're going to settle down.

Amethyst told Australia's New Life magazine: "One day, while I was walking through the bush, enjoying nature, I suddenly felt this incredible energy. I knew a new lover had arrived."

Unfortunately, Amethyst has never seen her Aussie boo — sorry, beau — although they can communicate. I'm not sure how, although I imagine she talks out loud and answers questions that only she can hear. Which is totally not insane, or at least not a plot device of every episode of Quantum Leap.

(Seriously, after five seasons of people asking "who are you talking to?" you'd think Sam and Al could have worked out a system where they didn't talk to each other when people were around.)

Amethyst says she's not sure if her spirit lover is even male, but insists the connection between them is totally real.

Amethyst first started sleeping with ghostly lovers when she had moved into a flat with her fiancé. She felt a spirit presence, and while her fiancé was away, she began a relationship with him.

Amethyst's fiancé — I like to think his name was "Alexandrite" — learned she was cheating when the ghost actually showed its physical form to him, which is something she had never seen.

I imagine things got a bit awkward after that.

"I think it was in love with me too, and it wanted me to end the relationship," Amethyst told Phillip and Holly, the hosts of ITV's "This Morning" television program last December.

Their relationship lasted for three years until it became as lifeless as her unseen lover. That's when she started sleeping her way through the spirit world. She told Phillip and Holly she's more embarrassed by the number of lovers she's had than the fact that she has never seen them.

I'm not slut shaming anyone. If she wants to have an active sex life, more power to her. It's just one thing to never see a sex partner again, it's a whole other thing to not see them in the first place.

Phillip and Holly asked how Amethyst was able to tell her ghostly lovers apart.

"You can always feel the difference, it's the same with different humans, they have different energies," she said.

But Amanda Teague isn't buying it. When she was interviewed about her ghostly wedding, she said she believed Amethyst was having sex with the same ghost, and was only imagining things.

She told the New Zealand Herald back in February: "I am certain it is just one spirit and not many, like she claims. (S)he doesn't appear to connect with the spirit at all."

Amanda felt bad for Amethyst because she could be having a real relationship with her ghost, "rather than just these weird one-off sexual experiences."

Yeah, that's the weird part.

Still, despite her colorful past, Amethyst thinks her unnamed boyfriend could be the one for her. She wants to settle down and even have a ghost baby.

"I know that sounds crazy," she told New Idea magazine, "but I've been looking into it and I don't think it's totally out of the question."

You're right, it sounds crazy. But who knows? It may be possible. After all, a few months after she got married, Amanda Teague had a pregnancy scare, but it turned out to be the start of menopause.

(Get it? Pregnancy scare?)

Still, Amethyst believes there's a way to have a ghost baby and she's bound and determined to do so with her unknown, unseen, undead lover.

I'm only sorry she didn't want to get married first.

Photo credit: Alexas_Fotas (Pixabay, Creative Commons 0)

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