Instagram Influencers Angry They Don't Know Who Likes Them

You GUYS, being pretty is SO HARD!

Like, you don't even KNOW. It's just so HARD to have people, you know, all like, LOOKING at you? And expecting you to be so, you know, pretty, like all the time?

'Cause, like, I'm an influencer? And people, like, follow me? On Instagram? So I can tell them how pretty I am? And it's, like, my job and stuff? And it's, just, really hard. It's like, like, being a coal miner or, like, a steelworker. So be sure to like my photos and subscribe to my YouTube channel, ImSoPretty.

I'm tired of Instagram influencers and their self-absorbed conceit. Many of them feel entitled to free stuff so they can "share it with my followers." They think telling everyone, "OMG, have you ever seen such yummy pho?" or "Look at these cool shoes that I'm going to wear for a week until I get other new shoes!" counts as being influential, and they'll shamelessly ask everyone to give them free things in exchange for "exposure."

An influencer is someone who amasses tens of thousands of followers on a social network, and they share their views and reviews on certain topics, like fashion, fitness, food, or any other fields that folks find fun.

For example, one of my favorite YouTube creators is Cristiana Felgueiras, a woodworker and artist with over 487,000 subscribers. She makes really cool projects, and I've watched nearly all her videos. Companies like Rockler Hardware and Inventables, makers of the X-Carve CNC router, will sponsor certain episodes, and she'll feature their tools and equipment in her videos.

I consider her an actual influencer, because not only does she actually inspire people to build and create, she actually works at her craft. The things she does are actually productive and useful, not vapid and empty-headed.

Not like certain Instagram influencers I could name.

A couple weeks ago, Instagram announced that they were going to hide the "likes" on users photos and videos, and many Instagram influencers lost their ever-loving minds.

Like Australia-based model, Mikaela Testa, who had a full-on freakout and posted a status update to her 10,000+ Facebook followers.

"If you think this is okay, you can f--- off, it's actually a sad day for those who have Instagram as a job. Regardless of what you may think Instagram is a REAL job and those in the industry have worked hard to get where they're at."

I guess I can f--- off then because Instagram is not a real job. Unless you actually, you know, work at Instagram.

Taking photos of yourself is not a real job. Promoting yourself is not a real job. Believe me, as someone who has literally written the actual book on promoting yourself with social media, I can tell you that it's not a real job.

"It's people that aren't even in the industry that think it's a f---ing joke," Testa added.

People think it's a f---ing joke because it's a f---ing joke. I'm even in the industry, and I think it's a f---ing joke.

Look, influencers may get free stuff and earn money for staring off into the distance and looking pretty, but don't confuse that with actual work.

Do you know what's actual work? Actually working. Being a landscaper, a teacher, a chef, an accountant, a carpenter, an artist, or even a marketer. Not an Instagrammer.

"I've put my blood, sweat, and tears into this for it to be ripped away, it's not just me suffering too, it's every brand and business I know."

Listen, I've owned my own business for 10 years, and I've been in marketing for 25. I can't think of a single time I actually bled doing this job.

I've traveled around the world, I've driven tens of thousands of miles, I've slept in uncomfortable beds, and I've eaten terrible food. I've been nervous and afraid, I've cried a few times, and I've sweated a lot.

But never have I ever, never not once, drawn blood doing it.

Then Testa finally realized what everyone else on the planet with more self-awareness than a headless zombie already knew: "Instagram isn’t even doing this for mental health they’re just doing it so they can control all engagement so more businesses run their adverts through Instagram essentially giving them more $ (sic), they don’t care about your feelings."

Wait, what? A social network that was bought by Facebook for $1 billion doesn't care about your feelings? They're not in this for your mental health?

When did this happen? Why didn't anyone tell me? The only reason I got an Instagram account is because I thought they cared about my feelings and were doing this for my mental health!

Testa received many hurtful comments telling her things like "relying on an app to make yourself feel good. . . is sad" and to "get a real job." So she said she was going to take "really big break" for "a couple of weeks," so she could "get back on track." (Whatever that means; was she even off track?)

And like every other influencer who vows to quit or take a really big break, she was back the next day refreshed and ready to resume the backbreaking, blood-soaked tasks of taking pictures of herself.

But it was all for naught: Instagram won't budge. And Testa will forever be trying to fill that empty place in her soul that knows how many people actually liked her photos.

Photo credit: Bob_Demyt (Pixabay, Creative Commons 0)

My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available on Amazon. You can get the Kindle version here or the paperback version here.