British Woman Finds the Light of Her life

A British woman recently lost a discrimination case she filed against the British tabloid, The Sun, after one of their columnists made fun of her and who she loved.

Amanda Liberty is in love with a German chandelier she has named Lumière, and plans on having a commitment ceremony with the new light of her life.

First, a little background on how we got to this point.

Liberty's last name was originally Whittaker, but she legally changed it several years ago after falling in love with New York's Statue of Liberty. She even got a tattoo of a U.S. flag, but the relationship, like Lady Liberty herself, never actually got off the ground.

I imagine it's because the logistics of the relationship were complicated.

Like, would Amanda have moved to the United States? The Statue of Liberty is actually a French national, so would Amanda have gotten citizenship here or in France? Would she have gotten a green card? Does the Statue have a green card?

Also, the Statue only lives outside, so where would Amanda put all her stuff? Would they share a bed? How would she keep the Statue from hogging all the covers?

Eventually, Amanda broke it off because she realized that while the Statue always has room in her heart for huddled masses yearning to be free, she had no room for love.

But everything worked out in the end, because it let Amanda pursue other relationships she found more, well, delightful.

Liberty (Amanda, not the Statue), is now in a committed relationship with a 92-year-old German chandelier. She named her new flame after Lumière in Beauty and the Beast.

The live-action version with Emma Watson, of course, not the cartoon movie from 1991. That would be weird.

This story sparked my curiosity when I first learned about it. Because if the chandelier is German, why did Amanda give it a French name? She should have named her Leuchter (chandelier) or even Licht (light), which is what Lumière's name literally means.

Liberty, 35, says that Lumière, who is female, has become an important fixture in her life despite the 57 year age gap.

In 2018, she told The Sun she purchased Lumière on eBay for about 400 pounds ($500), saying it was love at first sight. She eagerly awaited her delivery, and their love was kindled the moment Liberty opened the box. The two entered into a committed relationship, even though Liberty had been in an open relationship with 24 other chandeliers up to that point.

"None of my chandeliers are jealous of each other, they understand that I love them all for all of their different personalities," she said at the time.

She added, "I’m determined to have this commitment ceremony, to prove that I’m here for Lumière and that my love is going to last."

Liberty also planned on buying matching wedding rings for herself and her bright-to-be.

"I'm not sure what dress I'll wear, and will invite those closest to us," Liberty said.

I'm thinking the delighted couple could have a couple chandeliers as bridesmaids and groomsmen, and maybe a little flashlight as the ring bearer. They could put all the human attendees on Liberty's side and several table and desk lamps on Lumière's side. A kinetoscope of Thomas Edison could perform the ceremony.

Also, does one usually light candles at an event like this, or is that cruel?

"I know a lot of people think my attraction to chandeliers is strange, but I’m not crazy. People often can’t understand that this is just a natural orientation for me, that I can find the beauty in objects and can sense their energy," said Liberty. "I’m not hurting anyone by entering into a relationship with them, I am simply just following my heart."

As you might expect, people often mock Amanda and her relationship with her beloved chandeliers. Jane Moore, a columnist for the UK's The Sun, gave her the "Dagenham Award (Two Stops Past Barking)" in late 2019.

So Amanda filed a complaint with the U.K.'s Independent Press Standards Organization, saying The Sun had violated IPSO's rules about pejorative coverage of a person's sexual orientation. Amanda identifies as an "objectum sexual," which means she is emotionally attracted to objects. (She fell in love with a drum set when she was 14. At least it wasn't a bass guitar. Never trust a bass guitar.)

The Sun countered that Amanda has already shared her story with other media via interviews, articles, and even social media posts, which made her romance fair game.

In the end, Amanda lost the case and was not awarded anything. IPSO said the regulations applied only to people who are in love with other people, not things they bought on eBay, which extinguished any chances Liberty might have had at satisfaction.

But at the end of the day, the future is still looking bright for Amanda Liberty. She has a home, a job, and 25 lighting appliances whose love for her burns brightly. She is free to pursue her relationship with Lumière, a reading lamp, or anything else that lights her fire.

Photo credit: Pexels (, Creative Commons 0)

My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available on Amazon. You can get the Kindle version here or the paperback version here.