Teach Toddlers About Life with New "My Home Office" Toy

Parents, doesn't it just warm your heart to see little Blake or Jasmine imitating the things they learned from watching Mom and Dad. They watch how we eat, they learn to laugh at the things we laugh at, and they grow up cheering for the same teams we do.

Children learn by imitating what they see at home, and the things they see you do can influence their future education, life and health choices, and even their careers.

That's why Fisher-Price is pleased to announce our all-new "My Home Office" playset for preschoolers who want to "work from home," just like Mommy and Daddy. And despite what you may have heard, this is a completely real product you can get for little Tyler or Taylor today.

As it says on the Fisher-Price.com website, "this 8-piece pretend playset includes a pretend laptop, 4 fabric apps to attach to the computer screen, a wood smartphone and headset for all those important business calls, and a to-go cup for kids to sip their favorite beverage."

Now, your children can play just like they've watched you do for the last 12 months as they learn about important life lessons like communication, teamwork, and the insatiable grind of unfettered capitalism.

See what parents are calling "horrifying and bleak!" "a depressing preview of an empty life!" and "early training to becoming a cog in someone else's machine!"

When we become parents, we hope for bright futures for our children. We desperately want them to lead fulfilling lives that make them happy and bring them continual joy. That's why, with "My Home Office," they can learn valuable life skills like quietly crying into their pillow, primal screaming after meetings, lying about why the quarterly report is late, and ranting about "that stupid f---ing Evelyn screwing up the spreadsheet formatting again!"

With My Home Office, you can teach your kids to roll out of bed 15 minutes before their first Zoom meeting, how to answer emails late at night on the toilet, and how to find joy in the tiny pleasures of life like a morning latte because you haven't been happy since 2019.

And as part of the My Home Office playset, we also offer the 2021 Is The New Reality play set complete with ratty bathrobe, stained coffee mug, unrealistic Successories poster, and a CD of background noises. CD tracks include Dog Barking at the Amazon Driver, Fighting Children, and Spouse Yelling That the Dishwasher Is Broken.

And as an added bonus, every "My Home Office" playset comes with a DVD video add-on so your child can play along with realistic Zoom meetings, just like Mommy and Daddy have.

There's Anger Management Support Group, Dehumanizing Annual Evaluations With HR, We're Going to Have to Let You Go (with optional Christmas-themed background), and new for 2021, the We're Not Giving Holiday Bonuses This Year Because the CEO Bought a Yacht.

And while the end of the pandemic may be on the horizon, your child's fun doesn't have to. When you go back to work, your child can turn their bedroom into a life-size office, complete with cubicle walls in one of three vibrant colors: Nondescript Gray, Unremarkable Gray, and Cheery Summer Yellow.

Wait, that's wrong. I meant Ordinary Gray.

You can even decorate their tiny office with My HR Policy Binders available in three bright colors so your child can express their unique personality. Each My HR Policy Binder comes with a set of washable markers and wipe-off pages so your child can draw a kitty, a puppy, or write their own jargon-filled mission statement that doesn't actually say anything. It's so close to the real thing!

Also new from Fisher-Price, there's the Easy-Bake Office Microwave that comes with realistic-looking splatters on the inside. The Easy-Bake Office Microwave also comes with three available office smells: Popcorn, Coffee Someone Forgot Over the Weekend, and Last Night's Salmon.

But the fun doesn't stop there! Teach your child about the inspiring world of corporate dress codes with My First Khakis, and navy blue polo shirts from our partners at We Only Have It In Men's. And let them cut loose on Casual Fridays with Pre-Approved, Pre-Ironed Blue Jeans. The creases are ironed right into the fabric, and no amount of playtime fun will ever get them out.

Finally, let your child "drive to work" with the Fisher-Price Li'l Commuter's Kit, complete with minivan, Starbucks-branded reusable cup, and a built-in radio that plays the same ten soft rock hits from the 1980s that you hear each morning.

Fisher-Price has been helping children play since 1930. From our earliest games, "My Li'l Meat Packing Plant" and "Un-Air Conditioned Kitchen and Laundry Room" play sets up through to the "Underpaid Teacher's Classroom," complete with missing school supplies, we've been helping children imagine their futures.

Finally, a special note to parents who bought the "My Work-Life Balance" expansion pack: Your child's toy was not missing. The box was empty on purpose. It's a metaphor.

Photo credit: Lewis Hine, Children Changing Bobbins in a Textile Mille Jhayne (Flickr, Creative Commons 2.0)

My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available on Amazon. You can get the Kindle version here or the paperback version here.