Paris Olympics to Provide 'Anti-Sex' Beds for Athletes

When we were growing up, there were kids who followed the rules. They did what they were told, happy to do whatever the adults told them. They were the ones who avoided getting into trouble because they did what they were supposed to.

Then there's me.

Well, me, and millions of kids like me.

We were the troublemakers, the mischief-makers, the rule-breakers. We're the ones who, when you tell us not to do something, will do it anyway. Or we'll do a variation of the thing you told us not to do so we can still follow the letter of the law.

But despite what our teachers and parents predicted, we did not turn into hooligans and ne'er-do-wells. We became something much worse.


Entrepreneurs are the bane of every corporate starched-shirt rule follower. Meanwhile, the kids who did everything they were told became another khaki-coated cog in the corporate machine.

Those kids still stick to the rules and strike back against the visionaries and progressives. They can't bear unorthodox thinking and will do anything they can to squash any independent thought that may burble to the surface. And they don't like entrepreneurs.

So the rule-breakers strike out on their own. They do their own thing and solve problems that someone said couldn't be solved.

Most of the innovative products we've ever seen were created because someone said, "This is a problem, how can I fix it?"

Then, someone else said, "It can't be done. Just accept it."

Except, as the old saying goes, "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it."

So our troublemakers see the problem, and they tinker with it, turn it over in their brains, and it becomes an obsession. They read about it, write about it, and strategize about it with other troublemakers.

Then they solve the problem, leave their jobs, and make millions of dollars. Their rule-following colleagues see what the rule-breaker has done and say, "Why can't I ever do that? Why doesn't anything like that ever happen to me?"

Why do I bring this up?

Because it seems like the Paris Olympics don't want the athletes to have sex.

Weird segue, I know.

Olympics organizers have purchased what the New York Post is calling "anti-sex beds" for the 10,500 athletes who will compete this summer.

The beds were first introduced in 2021 at the Tokyo Olympics and are made by the Japanese company, Airweave. The frames are made from recycled cardboard, and the mattresses are made from three blocks of polyethylene fibers.

The goal, according to some reports, was to discourage "intimacy among athletes" because we were still in the pandemic in 2021. Or maybe it was because Olympic organizers are afraid of sex. Whatever it was, the beds earned a reputation of being too small and weak to withstand the rigors of two trained athletes. . . well, you know.

Let me interrupt my little story to talk about the word you were thinking about.

In my column, I can write about murder, about people being killed, and about stabbings and shootings. I can use the words that describe the worst things that humans can do to other humans, and we won't bat an eye.

But I cannot use the words that refer to the best things we can do. The things that show love and intimacy. The things that even make other humans. I can't use those words, and if I were an Olympic athlete, I would be strongly discouraged from doing those things.

To be fair, I would also be discouraged from killing my fellow competitors.

However, we have several Olympic sports that are based on the ability of killing or beating the hell out of your fellow humans. We don't have an Olympic competition for, well, you know.

What does all this have to do with cardboard anti-sex beds? And what does that have to do with entrepreneurship?

Because there is an ingenuity — an indomitable spirit —in the people who will sleep in these beds. They will hear the message, "It can't be done. Just accept it."

And they will refuse.

They will tinker with the idea, turn it over in their brains, and it will become an obsession. They will talk about it, read about it, and strategize about it with other troublemakers.

Then, they will come up with a solution, solve the problem, and have the time of their lives. Their rule-following competitors will see what fun the rule-breakers are having and say, "Why can't I ever do that? Why doesn't anything like that ever happen to me?

These are the world's best athletes. They're young, beautiful, the pinnacle of strength and agility, and they're in the most romantic city on Earth. They will not pass up the chance to have sex with someone equally young, beautiful, and strong.

So it's a good thing the organizers lifted the intimacy ban this year and will distribute 300,000 condoms to the athletes. 

Because, as the old saying goes, "People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it."

So make sure you lock your door before you break the rules.

Photo credit: David Rijckaert (III) (, Public Domain)

My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.