Leave it to the productivity hackers to find yet one more way to make improving their performance their entire personality. You know, the ones who spend so much time optimizing that we don't even know what it is that they do.
And then these men — because it's almost always men — flood social media with photos and videos of themselves showing everyone how productive they can be. I don't know which they spend more time doing: learning productivity hacks or posting about it on social media.
And I still don't know what it is that they do for work.
The latest unnecessary hack is called "raw-dogging," and despite the term's sexual origins (Google it), it now refers to doing a task without preparation, protection, or anything that would make it easier or go more smoothly.
Raw-dogging is brought to us by Generation Z, the same whiz kids who brought us the Tide Pod challenge, NyQuil Chicken, and the Dunk-Your-Junk-In-Soy-Sauce challenge. And like all these other so-called challenges, this one could kill you as well.
Except it involves doing nothing. Nothing at all.
Let's say you were going on a long flight or even a car trip. If you were an average traveler like me, you would take a book, charge your phone, load a few books on your Kindle, download your favorite podcasts, get a backup book, and then pack two more books, just in case.
They sit there, staring straight ahead, watching the flight map on the seatback screen, and claim they're using the "power of the mind" to power through it.
Except their minds couldn't power a dim bulb. Instead, they're mentally replaying Chumbawamba's "Tubthumping" over and over.
I would call it meditation, but since no one has figured out how to hack meditation to make it more productive, that's not what they're doing.
Australian music producer Torren Foot recently posted on TikTok, "Just raw-dogged it, 15-hour flight to Melbourne. No music, no movies, just flight map."
Foot is taking a 20-hour flight to New York in September — let's see him raw-dog that without falling asleep or gnawing off his own, well, foot, for entertainment.
Meanwhile, Erling Halland, a Norwegian striker for Manchester City football (that's "soccer" to you and me), posted a photo of himself on a seven-hour flight saying he did it with "no phone, no sleep, no water, no food, only map. #easy."
But according to one medical expert, these raw-doggers are, well. . .
"They're idiots," said Dr. Gill Jenkins, a general practitioner who also works as a medical escort for a UK air ambulance service. She told the BBC, "A digital detox might do you some good, but all the rest of it is against medical advice."
The problem is that if you're not moving around, you're at risk for deep-vein thrombosis (DVT). That's when a blood clot forms in your deep veins, usually in your legs. The clots can block circulation, which can cause pain, swelling, and even death.
The risk is greater if you don't drink anything because dehydration increases your chances of developing DVT. Plus, not going to the bathroom or not moving around every couple of hours, can really cause you some major problems.
Dr. Gill continued: "Not going to the toilet, that’s a bit stupid. If you need the loo, you need the loo."
It seems that these raw-doggers want to look stoic and strong, but they look stupid. Rather than reading a book or improving their mind, they would rather do nothing.
So there they sit, alone with their own thoughts, if they actually have any.
Raw-dogging is different from meditation, which is actually good for you. It has several health benefits, mental and physical.
Meditation is when you sit alone and try to empty your mind for around 20 minutes. No music, no distractions, and sit alone with yourself.
Don't think about what you're having for dinner or the errands you have to run. Just sit in silence, listen to your body, and don't think about anything.
But the meditation experts don't recommend doing more than 30 minutes because it decreases the quality of your meditation.
Which means raw-dogging is actually not meditation, which means it's not helpful. You're just sitting there with a single idea rattling around in your head like a BB in an empty soup can: "I wonder what a NyQuil Tide Pod would taste like."
Photo credit: rethaferguson (Pexels, Creative Commons 0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.