When I was 17, my father and I traveled to The Netherlands, where he's originally from. As we walked around The Hague one day, I spotted a Pizza Hut restaurant.
"Ooh, let's go to Pizza Hut," I said. Here we were, in a country known for — well, not much. "Dutch cuisine" is not a phrase you hear very often unless it's accompanied by an eye roll.
It's known mainly for herring, stroopwafels, and Gouda cheese. If you look up "Dutch cuisine" on Wikipedia, the entry is that gif of the woman spit-laughing into her coffee. Instead, it's the Belgians who are known for great cuisine, like waffles, mussels, pomme frites (french fries), chocolate, beer, and many other great dishes.
Still, I was curious what the Dutch take on Pizza Hut would be and figured I would have a baseline to compare it to, as I was an expert on Pizza Hut in Muncie, Indiana. (Thin crust with pepperoni and green olives, and I will hear no arguments against this.)
"Absolutely not," said my dad. "I didn't travel 4,000 miles to eat something we can get back home."
My arguments fell on deaf ears and I never did get my Dutch Pizza Hut. So now I'll never know if they follow the American recipe and use the same supplies. Or do they import their pepperoni from Italy and olives from Greece and use real Dutch cheese?
Probably not, but it's nice to imagine.
My dad's refusal to visit Dutch Pizza Hut became a formative experience for me, though. I realized that eating at chains and franchises was a terrible way to explore a new city or country.
I learned to stray off the beaten path and visit the places where the locals eat. Whenever I travel, I ask friends in that city for recommendations. "Who makes the best burgers?" "Where's the best coffee shop?" and "Where can I get a great pizza?"
I started that rule in 2005 when I went to St. Paul, Minnesota, with my new boss at a software company in Fort Wayne. The trip was 600 miles, which we made at exactly the speed limit and not a mile faster. When we arrived, he wanted to go to the Chili's restaurant next to the hotel.
I'm not completely opposed to chain restaurants. Some of them are pretty good for what they are. You just have to realize that the Chili's in St. Paul is going to taste the same as the Chili's in Chula Vista, California, and the same as the Chili's in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. So visiting a Chili's in a new city is not the exciting adventure you would hope it would be.
I've never understood people who, on the rare occasion they go out to eat, will go to a diner and get the meatloaf plate or fried chicken or whatever they normally get at home. This is your chance to expand your horizons just a tiny bit. but you still order the same thing you eat every Wednesday night?
My boss was like this, and I thought of him as Meatloaf Plate the whole time I worked for him.
Still, it was late, and we had been driving for 10 hours, so it was nice to be out of the car. Plus, I didn't eat at Chili's more than once a year anyway, so I could suck it up.
The next night, Meatloaf Plate let me pick something, and we went to a little Italian place. Dinner was very good, and he seemed to enjoy it.
The following night, I was sure he would want to try something new again. After all, Fort Wayne, Indiana, is not known for its culinary diversity, but in a metro area like Minneapolis-St. Paul, you'd expect to find some amazing restaurants from different parts of the world — Thai, Cuban, French, Polish, Ethiopian, and Argentinian.
"What are you in the mood for?" I asked him.
"I wanted to go back to Chili's again."
"What, seriously?" I said out loud. "We have Chili's at home." That was pretty bold of me, considering I hadn't even worked at the company for a week.
So I took the rental car and explored the city. I found a German restaurant and ordered some bratwursts and sauerkraut while my boss no doubt ate the same chicken dish he'd had two days ago.
It was then that I vowed never to travel with Meatloaf Plate again or eat at chain restaurants when I traveled. And if anyone from the company ever accompanied me, I put myself in charge of all dining plans. For the next two years, I traveled three or four times per month all around the United States and once in Germany, and I never once went to a chain restaurant.
I even skipped the German Pizza Hut.
Thanks a lot, Dad.
Photo credit: Kevin Petit (Pixabay, Creative Commons 0)
My new humor novel, Mackinac Island Nation, is finished and available from 4 Horsemen Publications. You can get the ebook and print versions here.